How it started vs how it's going: the viral trend that channels positive narcissism

The grainy pictures of ex-boyfriends, first days at school and baby scans are usually reserved for the annual passing of the family photo album each Christmas.

But a new viral trend is encouraging social-media users to resurrect these old pictures – and post them next to newer and shinier versions of where they are now.

The trend, which is primarily taking place on Twitter, has been dubbed the “How it started: how it's going” challenge. It sees users post side-by-side photos of themselves at two different life stages, to accompany each of the captions.

The meme originally started out with romantic intentions, providing a way for couples to reflect on the development of their relationship; from the first time they met, to their engagements, weddings and even parenthood. Think images of cherub-faced couples posing in the school locker room, adjacent to a picture of them at the altar. You get the drift.

But since the trend erupted last week, it has evolved to include everything, from job progression to school work struggles and even self-deprecating takes on the state of 2020.

While it's widely accepted that memes are millennial territory, the nostalgic element has captured the attention of several boomers – including Joe Biden’s wife, Jill. Earlier this week, she shared an image on Twitter of the pair as young adults. Jill’s Aztec-print dress and her husband’s pastel patchwork shirt are a far cry from the tailored garments the presidential pair sport now.

One heartwarming tweet in particular has captivated social-media users around the world. Ciarán Shannon, a father from Belfast, shared three pictures of him and his daughter Niamh, who is now a 25-year-old teacher, at various stages of her academic life. All the pictures were taken in exactly the same spot outside their home. Niamh’s first day at primary school in 1999, her final day at school in 2012 and finally her graduation in the summer of 2018 are all captured in the post, which has since been liked almost a million times.

It struck a chord with Twitter users. "I don't know you or anything about you but this brought a tear to my eye. Strange times," one user commented under the post.

Shannon remains humble about the post's success, saying: “I'm flabbergasted by the reaction my pictures have got. The good thing is that now nearly a million people know how proud I am of my daughter."

So why are these memes tugging at the heartstrings of so many? Claire Goodwin-Fee, a psychotherapist and founder of NHS therapy service Frontline19, says it could be because the pandemic is making us nostalgic for simpler times.

“Prior to Covid-19, we lived such busy fast-paced lives where we are always striving towards the next goal. Things like this appeal to people, because it gives them permission to reflect on where they've been and what they've achieved,” she says.

She adds that posts like Shannon’s are comforting when the world feels uncertain: “Nostalgia is a known emotion, where we can set our own mental boundaries. We’re choosing to revisit these memories by choice; as a result, we feel the positive feelings that accompany them.”

Looking at old photos can also trigger the release of feel-good endorphins, says Goodwin-Fee. “If you think about a favorite meal you had when you're younger, you psychologically associate it with a positive emotion. Our brains experience those feelings as if it’s happening now, even though we know logically we aren't there,” she adds.

As with any social media challenge, celebrities are now jumping on the bandwagon. The singer Ellie Goulding chose to share a nostalgic look back at her early career days performing at an Amnesty gig, while French footballer Paul Pogba posted an image of him looking nervous as a young player.

Egotistical? Perhaps. But for Goodwin-Lee, this narcissism could be exactly what we need right now. She says that humans are wired to have a negative bias (which is why we find it easier to remember a nasty thing someone said, rather than a compliment). This challenge gives us permission to look back at the positives in our life.

“There’s a certain innocence about reflecting, and having fun while we’re doing it,” she adds.