'Stay, tomorrow needs you': Suicide prevention event draws advocates to Stroudsburg church

Community members came together to spread awareness of suicide prevention and remember those lost to suicide at Christ Episcopal Church in Stroudsburg in early October.

Organized by Stroudsburg High School senior Jessica Brady, the event was held in honor of September's Suicide Prevention Month — having been delayed due to weather — featuring speakers sharing their own personal experiences with the struggles of mental health issues.

A cause that is "near and dear" to her heart, Brady held a similar event in May, "and I think there's a lot of good that came from that, so I just wanted to kind of give myself a chance to do it again."

Having lived with anxiety and depression, and experienced suicidal ideation, Brady has thankfully improved, but she has seen other lives lost — "we've lost two drum majors within two-and-a-half, three years," she said.

"So it's something that's really impacted the local community," Brady said. "There's been several suicides, both young kids and adults within Monroe County, throughout the past few years. I feel like it's really something that everybody should care about. It's really everybody's issue, because it could be, you know, your friend or your brother or your neighbor. We need to take care of each other."

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'No one can replace you'

According to the Centers for Disease Control, suicide is the leading cause of death in the United States, with 45,979 victims in 2020 alone — about one death every eleven minutes. Beyond that, an estimated 12.2 million Americans though about suicide, 3.2 million planned a suicide, and 1.2 million attempted suicide in 2020.

Among those who took to the pulpit was Jim Shoopack, a teacher and coach who lost his own brother, Bob, to suicide in 2021, and has finished 21 marathons for mental health awareness. When Bob struggled with anxiety and panic attacks, physicians could find nothing wrong, leading him down a dark path which would eventually claim his life.Shoopack experienced a harrowing bout of depression following his family's loss, noting "I contemplated taking my life every day… I couldn't even leave my sofa at home…"

Through his own personal connections to faith and prayer — along with the love of his family, including his cats and dogs — Shoopack was able to make progress, attending therapy and taking medication, and sharing what he was going through with his family and friends.

"I think that's just important, having support from your family, your friends, like you folks here," Shoopack, standing alongside photos of his brother and a t-shirt from a fundraiser for suicide prevention alliance, said. "It's nice to know that there's other people out there that are there to support you, unfortunately, under the circumstances, in this case, but just realize, the best thing I could ever tell you is your life matters. No one can replace you, and the world is a better place because you yourself are in it."

Hope Christman, social worker and political candidate for the 176th House district, spoke on the lack of accessibility for those struggling with mental health issues in northeastern Pennsylvania. Recalling the story of a student who had to travel to the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton area to obtain treatment for her mental health, Christman advocated for focused efforts to make mental health care more readily available.

"Look up your elected officials and see what they're doing for mental health, and if you feel that they're not doing enough, call them out," Christman said. "Call them out, whether it is your state officials, whether it's your federal officials, whether it's your school board, call them out, make sure that they are serving you because that is their job… And that's the only way we're going to get anything done, is that we need to make them be held accountable to do their job."

Pandemic's impact on Poconos mental health

Jenny Collier noted the effects of COVID on mental health, and how it impacted groups who are often neglected, most notably senior citizens and children struggling with familial problems, encouraging the crowd "to really be aware of what's going on around you, with your friends, with your family."

Collier stressed that when a loved one comes to you with a problem, do not be dismissive or simply offer platitudes — truly listen and engage with them, and try and offer the sympathy they need.

"Don't pat them on the back and say 'everything's going to be great,' because that's not how they feel right now," Collier said. "They're in that deep, dark hole, and they don't see a ladder. You see 10 ladders — 'What do you what do you mean, everything's great!' There's no ladder for them, so you need to be there for them, you need to find that ladder and put it down for them."

Speaking of her personal experience, Brady reflected on hitting a breaking point in the spring of 2021, when anxiety, depression, bullying, and stress from COVID came to a head and she was taken in for emergency mental health treatment, which she found shockingly inadequate.

"I was hospitalized. I was sent home. I ended up having to wait seven and a half months for treatment. This is with insurance, with a mom that does not back out very easily. It took me seven and a half months to get any kind of resolution, which, in my humble opinion is just completely stupid and unacceptable. Because mental health, it's so crucial. It's so important. And really, it can get to a point where somebody's life is at risk."

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'Stay, tomorrow needs you'

Brady added that her experience with Aevidum, a student club composed of "football players, and then the quiet kids and everybody in between" which functions as a safe place of support, has helped many young individuals empathize and look out for one another.

"Just be there for one another, because it really does make all the difference," Brady said. "My (Aevidum) shirt here says 'Stay, tomorrow needs you,' and I always wear it to things like this because I think it's the truth. You know, there's always at least one person out there that won't be the same if you're gone. That's a lesson I've had to learn; I know a lot of my friends and classmates have had to learn it."

Tanya Paxson, who lost her son Thomas just a few months ago, emphasized the necessity for more resources and education for those suffering with suicidal ideation and depression, opening doors that could help to save lives.

"I wish I could go back and make sure Tom had the resources that may have helped him that night," Paxson said. "So please, if you find yourself spiraling, the worst thing you can do is lock yourself in the dark. Turn on the lights, come out of your room, talk to someone, go for a walk. Call 988, the new suicide prevention hotline. Please, all of our tomorrows matter."

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Teacher and coach Tamara Utess, Thomas Paxson's aunt, discussed her own experience after losing her nephew, and the unexpected care she received from a class after they discovered what had happened.

"I had underestimated my seventh and eighth graders. I thought it was saving them by not telling his story. I was super wrong, it opened up a room of compassion, a room of understanding. It brought to light how others struggle, either themselves or their family members," Utess said, adding that suicide is an epidemic and the public should "Make it personal because it is important, it's worthy of our full attention."

With a focus on making mental health resources available to those in need and to bring down the stigma of discussing suicide and spreading awareness, the efforts of Brady and the other speakers resonated throughout the church, reminding the community that, much like Aevidum preaches, they have got your back.

If you are feeling suicidal, or unsafe, call or text the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 9-8-8. These services are free, confidential, and available 24/7. Veterans can press “1” after dialing 988 to connect directly to the Veterans Crisis Lifeline which serves our nation’s Veterans, service members, National Guard and Reserve members, and those who support them. For texts, Veterans should continue to text the Veterans Crisis Lifeline short code: 838255.

A 24/7 mental health crisis hotline is also available to residents in Carbon, Pike and Monroe counties via Carbon-Monroe-Pike Mental Health and Developmental services: 570-992-0879.

View our list of mental health crisis resources for Pocono and northeast Pa. residents here: bit.ly/3ed5ZBF.

This article originally appeared on Pocono Record: Community gathers in Stroudsburg to raise suicide awareness