'He was stolen away': Family of Josh Orr, victim of Kodak Center attack, speaks out

After stepping out of the Uber he took to the New Year's Eve concert at the Kodak Center, Joshua Orr stuck his head back in the window and reminded the driver of the possible hazards of the night ahead.

"Be careful tonight," he said. "The loonies are out."

The comments were tragically prescient.

Hours later Orr and his close friend Justina Hughes were killed when a driver plowed his sport utility vehicle into pedestrians and the SUV in which Orr and Hughes were passengers after the concert. The tragedy sparked an investigation into possible domestic terrorism. Police and the FBI say they see no links of that sort.

Joshua Orr was 29. Justina Hughes of Geneva was 28.

"He was stolen away from everyone," Jason Orr said of his son, a 2013 graduate of Webster Schroder High School. "He was really special. He was."

In the days after the killings, Joshua's family learned more about the many individuals touched by the soft-spoken young man with a quick wit. Within his gaming community, there are the dozens who followed him into virtual battles. His presence, however, was more than that of a wartime general. He became a friend and confidant to the troubled and the lonely.

One wrote to Joshua's older brother, saying, "I didn't have any friends. I didn't have anybody. And I found Josh."

There are the local friends and co-workers who have reached out to the family. And there are the local strangers, like the Uber driver who transported Joshua and Justina to the moe concert on New Year's Eve and chatted about music during the nine-minute drive.

The driver, who called the Orr family, was surprised that he'd been cautioned by a fare about the dangers of New Year's Eve. Most people didn't say much if anything beyond innocuous banter, but here was someone whom he'd just met who seemed genuinely concerned about his well-being.

"That's the type of person he was," Jason Orr said of his son.

A grieving family remembers Josh Orr of Webster

Earlier this week, squeezed onto a couch in their Webster home, Joshua Orr's family spoke of the son and brother whom they'd lost.

In a family room modeled after an Adirondacks cabin, with acres of woods outside that serve as a barrier from nearby busy roads, the family told stories with a common thread: Joshua Orr lived life to the fullest, but also lived life to help others.

Joshua battled mental health troubles as a teenager and emerged from treatment with a giving perspective.

"He went through a severe mental health crisis," said his mother, Amy White. Joshua navigated his difficult years, choosing afterward to help others with similar hardships.

"His heart grew so big from his own struggle," she said. "... He did not want what he had to go through at 16 years old to all be for naught."

Music was a refuge. His mother and stepfather put together a Grateful Dead mix for him when he was a teenager, and the iconic jam band, with its ebbing and flowing instrumental waves and its psychedelic-Americana foundation, provided a therapeutic salve.

Joshua and Justina originally planned to spend New Year's Eve at Three Heads Brewery with the bluegrass band Dirty Blanket. That show was sold out, so they opted for moe at the Kodak Center on West Ridge Road.

Both Joshua and Justina were avid Grateful Dead fans, so moe, itself a jam band, squeezed perfectly into their musical wheelhouse.

Joshua and Justina had been at the final Grateful Dead show in San Francisco, a sell-out at the city's professional baseball stadium. Joshua had planned that trip for more than a year, and it was an important dream of his.

Kodak Center tragedy victim: He was relaxed, supportive, a friend

For his family and friends, there was a preternatural calm about Joshua that put individuals at ease. He listened attentively, whether the dialogue was on-screen via Xbox or face-to-face. "He's an old soul," said his older brother, Tyler.

Joshua provided advice if the time seemed right.

His younger brother, 14-year-old Nicholas, said, "You know you're safe with him because he's such a relaxed person. ... He had this aura around him. Whenever I entered his apartment or his room, it's like all chaos goes away."

However, Joshua did draw lines with music. Typically, in his car the Dead or similar bands were the musical standard. Once Nicholas convinced Joshua to let him choose a song. Nicholas put on "Living Life in the Night," a duet between pop artist Cheriimoya and rapper Sierra Kidd that meshes ethereal and hip-hop flavors.

"There was only one time when I got to play one of my songs in his car," his brother said. "He was like, 'Never again.' ... The look on his face when that song started playing."

It was Joshua who introduced Nicholas to gaming. Once, while engaging in a virtual "raid," Nicholas saw that he had an invitation to join Joshua's clan. He quickly dashed from the game and merged forces with Joshua.

"I almost couldn't smile wider," Nicholas said.

It was, in some ways, the highest honor, an invitation from the older brother whom he also considered his best friend.

Joshua Orr made ripples in the virtual world

Jason Orr admits that he has trouble grasping the appeal of the gaming world. With the sylvan wooded area at the family's Webster home, the Orrs have plenty of opportunities for go-carting and outdoor activities. But Joshua loved his Xbox.

Now, his family hears from the world of friends and fellow warriors and travelers Joshua met there. Joshua sometimes used the name "Mr. Bickles" — fellow gamers could not be rude or confrontational when encountering someone with the silly name, Joshua told his family — and he was often a leader in the Xbox universe.

"They have channels dedicated to Bickles," Tyler said.

An avatar of Joshua's beloved pet dog, the Chihuahua mix Eddie, is even used by Joshua's online friends as a lighthearted beacon.

His family knew how important gaming was for him, but did not know of those who turned to him for leadership, advice, or a soothing word. "He never talked about it," Tyler said. "... People from all over the world are saying, 'Josh helped me.'"

Those messages have been steady since his death.

Thankful for EMS and first-responders

Joshua's stepmother, Jennifer Orr, said she and the family think often of the first responders who quickly came to the fiery and chaotic scene New Year's Eve. They wish they could individually thank each — "law enforcement, fire, EMS, bystanders."

"The people who jumped in to help ... are also heroes for what they do every day," she said. "Our family is so thankful and so appreciative."

Calling hours for Joshua Orr will be held from 4-8 p.m. Thursday, Jan. 11, at Falvo Funeral Home in Webster. A candlelight vigil is also planned at Kodak Center on at 5 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 14.

There is also talk of a memorial concert later this year.

On New Year's Eve, as Joshua and Justina readied for their night out, Jason Orr did what he always does when his son left home. He hugged Joshua, he kissed him on the forehead, he told him that he loved him.

Joshua left the house, excited. He and his dear friend Justina had music on their immediate horizon.

A new year beckoned.

Another great read: Who is Michael Rhynes? The story behind an exonerated Attica prisoner who remade his life.

— Gary Craig is a veteran reporter with the Democrat and Chronicle, covering courts and crime and more. You can reach Craig at gcraig@rocheste.gannett.com. He is the author of two books, including "Seven Million: A Cop, a Priest, a Soldier for the IRA, and the Still-Unsolved Rochester Brink's Heist."

This article originally appeared on Rochester Democrat and Chronicle: Josh Orr, Rochester attack victim: Family talks about terrible loss