The Story Never Ends: Decoration Day, a celebration of Appalachian life and death
This time of year you may find me in a cemetery or two reconnecting to the past.
Cemeteries are frequently visited for Memorial Day, or once called Decoration Day. It is a time of year when a wreath or flowers adorning a grave commemorate a military man or woman's life. For our family, it is a time of year when we remember loved ones who have passed on before us by placing a flower on their graves. It's a way to memorialize that person's life in our hearts and show the outside world they are still remembered. It is a way to pay our respects.
Memorial Day started after the Civil War (1861-1865), when a torn country both North and South wanted to remember fallen comrades. Now, what I have found through my research is that this federal holiday has a big history but it wasn't until 1971, when Congress made it official and changed its observance to the last Monday in May. Before that, it was always on May 30, falling on a different day each year. Making the last Monday of May set as Memorial Day also conveniently created a three-day weekend for the start of summer.
According to an article on www.history.com, Memorial Day was born out of necessity. David Roos writes that "After the American Civil War, a battered United States was faced with the task of burying and honoring the 600,000 to 800,000 Union and Confederate soldiers who had died in the single bloodiest military conflict in American history. The first national commemoration of Memorial Day was held in Arlington National Cemetery on May 30, 1868, where both Union and Confederate soldiers are buried."
Gen. John A. Logan, a leader of Northern Civil War veterans, declared a "Decoration Day" on May 5, 1868, for "decorating" graves of those who died in the "late rebellion," according to www.history.com.
So, my big question in all this history is why has my family (and so many others) always decorated graves of those other than military members? And, while the graves of both my father, the late Stanley Lepley (a World War II veteran), and my maternal grandfather, the late Melvin Bowman (a U.S. Cavalrymen in service prior to World War I), have a flag kindly placed by members of the American Legion or the Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) for their service, our family takes this Memorial Day decoration thing pretty seriously for other non-military family members. Why? Where did it all start and was it just because Civil War veterans were remembered way back when and the idea caught on for everybody? Well, yes and no.
According to an article about cemetery symbolism posted at www.milanomonuments.com, the practice of leaving flowers at graves began thousands of years ago when the ancient Greeks would honor fallen warriors because it was believed that if the flowers rooted into the ground and grew from the gravesite, it was a sign that the fallen had found peace.
So, decorating graves is nothing new but what's interesting is that our present-day Decoration Day is rooted in Appalachian traditions that probably reach back to a time before the Civil War. Both Wikipedia and www.digitalheritage.org (connecting Appalachian culture to the traditions of the world) relate that Decoration Day can be religious, a homecoming, a reconnection of the past from lost loved ones to living family members, a celebration of life and death here in Appalachia. Flowers on the grave symbolize the celebration. How beautiful that this is a part of our heritage!
I can remember as a child going with my maternal grandmother Mary Bowman to decorate graves. She taught me the importance of honoring these people and the history that is connected there. No doubt it was a tradition that was passed down to her. Now, her grave is one I lovingly decorate.
Sometimes, I stroll through the cemeteries and recognize names of people and remember others. I reflect. What was it like living in that time period? Why did some die so young and if only they lived today, could modern medicine have saved them? What difference could that one life have made for future generations? And, ultimately, what matters most of all is the dash in between the birth date and death date on the gravestone because it represents a person's whole life "And now only those who loved them, Know what that little line is worth," (The Dash Poem by Linda Ellis).
This article originally appeared on The Daily American: Sandra Lepley column about Decoration Day
