Storytime: Eating bunny cake
While most of you have been planning Easter dinner or an after-dinner egg hunt, I have been up to my elbows and eyeballs in cake mix and frosting.
While most of you have been looking your Easter best, I am a hot mess with batter in my hair and icing where it shouldn’t be. Every year this happens, and this year was no exception. This time of year, while most think of malt balls and chocolate eggs, all I can think about is cake.
The annual Bunny Cake Bake-off.
Surely you remember — my family is crazy! We are scattered all over the country, but that doesn’t stop us from doing things together. Someone came up with the brilliant idea that every Easter we have a bunny cake baking contest.
Each submission must start with one cake mix and two round cake pans. Each participant can only spend $20 to adorn their cake and everything on the cake must be edible. Each cake is submitted with a name, then all are posted anonymously online and social media judges which bunny wins.
It is never mine.
Over the years, my bunny cakes have been less than stellar. I did a red-eyed Rocky Mountain High Bunny, accented with oregano, and I made a chocolate bunny. I’ve done a Playboy Bunny, a plain cake called “No-make up Bunny,” and one year, I drove over my failure of a cake with a lawn tire and called it “Road-kill Bunny.”
Last year, my cake was called “Angel Bunny,” complete with a golden halo and black licorice glasses that resembled my husband, who should have been here to help me make the bunny cake. I thought surely Angel Bunny would garner the sympathy vote and win the Golden Bunny trophy.
The voters didn’t fall for it.
The winner each year is not just a cake; they are polished works of art. The icing is smooth with no crumbs or cracks. The trophy-winning bunnies are clever and catchy and look like they were made professionally. They are sleek and sophisticated, classy and charismatic.
Then there is mine.
Each year, I Google bunny cakes hoping to find an inspiration and perfect the little skills I have. I watch how-to videos on icing cakes, cutting cakes and piecing cakes together. I read tips on making moist cakes, fluffy cakes and cakes that spring back.
Nothing seems to help.
So, while most of you have been planning your Easter festivities, I have been planning for a contest I will never win. It doesn’t matter how hard I try or how much research I do, my bunny never wins the Golden Trophy. My family is too clever and cute. They are doers and achievers, artists and artisans who view their bunny cakes as masterpieces and not something to eat.
Then there is me.
Still, each year I compete. I make my cake and submit it with a thoughtful name because I am an eternal optimist who carries the foolish notion that I can always do better. Each cake I bake will be better than the last one, and each year I will earn more votes! One day, that Golden Trophy will be mine!
Sadly, that won’t be this year.
This year, I should probably be disqualified. I spent $121.78 to make my sad little bunny cake. I bought three cake mixes, threw out two of them, and was able to pull it together on the third try. I purchased five tubs of icing, most of which I ate myself, and red wax lips I ordered off the internet.
Sigh.
The rest of the money went to the wine needed to get me through this bunny bake-off. Don’t judge me, please, unless you’re going to slam that “Like” button and make me a winner.
Meanwhile, I’ll be right here, eating cake.
You can reach Lorry at Lorrysstorys@gmail.com.
This article originally appeared on Columbia Daily Tribune: Storytime: Eating bunny cake
