My students use flattery to get what they want. Blame it on culture of customer service | Opinion

This summer, I received an email from a student with the following words: “I just want to let you know how much I value you as a teacher and have reverence for what you are teaching us.”

Normally, such positive affirmation from a student would be welcome, but in this case, it was received on the final day of the term from a student who had not turned in a single assignment, essay or exam throughout the entire class.

This student seemed to think that flattery was the path to success in my course. It is not. He failed.

While his case is particularly egregious, the perceived power of flattery to shape reality seems to have caught on with students. More and more, students seem to think that words of praise cover any past misdeed. This cult of flattery has become so widespread that whenever a student’s email begins with praise, I almost expect now that it will be followed by a request for a deadline extension or an appeal for extenuating circumstances. The hope, I suppose, is that their words will lead to a temporarily drunken ego that will blind me to their past faults and missteps. Perhaps this strategy works for many professors, but, to me, it reveals a troubling trend in America.

Opinion

In my field of religious studies, we often divide religions between those who primarily value what you believe (orthodoxy) versus what you do (orthopraxy). For example, Judaism tends to accent righteous deeds, while Protestant Christianity cares more about the beliefs behind the actions. However, in an increasingly secular America, it seems that neither belief nor action matters, but rather merely the way one makes you feel. Flattery has come to be seen as the most potent social currency and, for many, rhetoric matters more than reality.

Of course, over-reliance on wit, flattery and quick turns of phrase is nothing new to humans. The ancient Greeks berated the sophists for precisely this social sin. Empty promises are the backbone of most romance novels across most cultures. Advertisers and anyone in sales specialize in persuasive communication. But, in the past, empty rhetoric was scorned, the last resort of those who had nothing else. Today, however, it seems to be praised.

My students seem to think that it is the only thing that matters. Why has this shift occurred?

First, the culture of customer service has seemingly seeped into all interpersonal relationships. It is nearly ubiquitous that a call to customer service is met with an overly effusive litany of thanks for being a customer and a public proclamation of my value to them, just before they relay bad news. The customer service playbook begins with a love bomb and ends with the hope that words will make up for their missteps and failures. It seems so many companies have invested in the same customer service program over quality goods or services.

The lesson of the power of flattery has been learned by the political world, as well. I rarely go a day without Nancy Pelosi or some other political candidate emailing to tell me that I am the one who will make the difference in this election and my support alone is crucial for the survival of our nation. For Donald Trump and his cadre of believers, reality is defined more by his words than…reality. Gone are the days where political spin is derided; after debates, networks are giddy with excitement to enter the proudly self-proclaimed “spin room.”

Social media also must share some of the blame. The carefully curated profiles of most influencers are lessons in artificial reality, where appearance is everything. And comment sections are bastions of public displays of virtual affection. A superlative with an exclamation point is no longer superlative: “You are the most AMAZING!!!” “So beautiful!!!” “The GOAT!!!” Comments are now just as real as the touched-up images.

Religious trends also share some of the blame. The best-selling spiritual book “The Secret” is grounded in the idea that our thoughts and words create reality. Tomes on systematic theology are out; vacuous but pithy 140-characters spiritual sayings are in. It is a lot easier to fill the pews with funny sermons and slogans than challenging theological considerations. Sadly, many of the most popular religious forms are now often the most shallow.

In the end, the prevalence of rhetoric and empty praise over substance must persist in our society because it has proven to be effective. I get it. People seek any semblance of praise and want easy solutions in a world that is often frustratingly immune to simplicity. But wouldn’t it be better if we all put our energy into grappling with this complexity rather than offering insubstantial rhetoric?

Herein lies the lesson for our education system: I hope, as a professor, to install in my students to think deeply, believe in something passionately and let those values guide their everyday actions. However, in the face of a societal onslaught of normalizing the value of shallow rhetoric, perhaps we need a coordinated effort at the university level to ask students to stand for something, rather than simply saying something. A curriculum of substance should be our goal across the university.

And to my future students: I hope that you demonstrate how much you value my courses by your work rather than your words. Maybe the perennial religious debate over the primacy of belief or action matters little to you, but I hope that you have both as you navigate the world. Perhaps this realization alone is the most important lesson I can share.

Dr. Stephen Lloyd-Moffett is a professor of religious studies at Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo.