STUFF WE MISSED: Tuesday, May 17, 2022

May 17—A collection of things only available to subscribers on days we don't publish a physical newspaper.

DEAR ABBY

Hospice volunteer stunned by family's generous gift

DEAR ABBY: For a few years, I volunteered to tend to an elderly woman through a hospice organization. My role was to visit with her while her son ran errands or enjoyed an evening of entertainment. I grew fond of her and her family.

For my 70th birthday, her daughter, son and daughter-in-law hosted an at-home dinner in my honor. It was good fun. In addition to a tasty dinner and homemade birthday cake, there were presents: wine, gag wine glass and a birthday card with a gift card enclosed. The wine is long gone, and I have used the wine glass ever since.

I left the gift card in the birthday card and set it aside. I recently wanted to buy a $20 coffee mug online, so I pulled out the gift card and was shocked to see the value of the card is almost four times more than the mug I fancied. I feel the gift is too much. How do I gracefully return the very generous gift? — OVERWHELMED IN WASHINGTON

DEAR OVERWHELMED: Your heart is in the right place, but please do not reject that family's gift of gratitude for what you did for their mother — and for them — during a difficult time. To do otherwise would be a breach of etiquette. Your acts of kindness are worth every penny, and you are deserving of what was given to you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of 55 years never talks to me anymore. Unless I initiate conversation, he sits in silence, staring off into space. He says he has "nothing to say." It drives me crazy. I suppose, after all these years, anything he says has been said before, but still, it leaves me feeling lonely and unloved.

When I tell him how it makes me feel, he says it isn't the case, but he never changes. We don't have TV, and I can read and do crossword puzzles by myself for just so long. I really look forward to the evening, when I can start drinking my whiskey, so I have a little pleasure in my life. I don't have more than a couple of drinks because I understand the health risks, but tell me, what else can I do? — TALKING TO MYSELF IN TEXAS

DEAR TALKING: What you can do is quit drinking to ease your loneliness and get out of the house. Socialize with others at least once a week. Look into opportunities to volunteer in your community. Take your husband with you if you can pry him out of his chair. The only thing you should NOT do is continue on the path you're on.

P.S. If your husband's passivity is new behavior, consider going with him to the doctor so he can be screened for depression. (While you're there, it might not be a bad idea for you to be screened for it as well.)

DEAR ABBY: This is not a big drama, but I think that if someone wants to give out my email address, they should first ask me for permission. I just received an email from an acquaintance telling me they had given out my email and THEN asking me if that was OK. No, it wasn't! Abby, I'm not in witness protection, but my email address is private. Am I crazy? — CRANKY ON LONG ISLAND

DEAR CRANKY: Crazy? Not at all. What your nervy acquaintance did was breach whatever privacy is left in our society these days, which was thoughtless, rude and inexcusable.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS

Singer Taj Mahal is 80. TV personality Kathleen Sullivan is 69. Boxing Hall of Famer Sugar Ray Leonard is 66. Sports announcer Jim Nantz is 63. Singer Enya is 61. Actor-comedian Craig Ferguson is 60. Singer-musician Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails) is 57. Actress Paige Turco is 57. Singer Jordan Knight is 52. Rock singer-musician Josh Homme is 49. Singer Andrea Corr (The Corrs) is 48. Folk-rock singer/songwriter Passenger is 38. Dancer-choreographer Derek Hough is 37. Actress Nikki Reed is 34.

TODAY'S HOROSCOPE

Put greater emphasis on health and emotional well-being — schedule time for relaxation, creative endeavors, personal growth and fitness. Surround yourself with people who put a smile on your face. Set the stage for a year filled with self-improvements that make you feel your best, and achieve a healthy lifestyle.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) — Consider what others expect of you and address your responsibilities head-on. Leave nothing to chance or up to others to complete. Keep your money, important papers and passwords safe.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) — You can make a difference if you speak up and offer concrete solutions. Don't trust anyone promising the impossible or delivering vague responses.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) — Put on a happy face, even if you find someone irritating. It's amazing what a positive attitude can do. Pitch in, keep busy and show compassion, and you'll make a difference.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) — Choose your associates wisely. Listen carefully and be resourceful. Follow through and get the facts. Take responsibility for your actions and words, and live up to your promises.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Open your mind and learn. A change of attitude will give you a new take on an old situation or relationship. Pick up the pace and say what's on your mind.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Bring up topics of conversation that need addressing. Show compassion, but don't let anyone take advantage of you. Keep your money and possessions safe. Change things around at home.

SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Call the shots and do things your way. Don't waste time trying to convince others to follow your lead. If someone doesn't like your decisions, give them the freedom to move on.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Distance yourself from people who take you for granted. Put more time and effort into domestic responsibilities and personal growth. Make improvements to your surroundings.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Be secretive regarding finances, contracts or medical issues. Focus on changes that improve your lifestyle, or drum up worthy connections at networking events. Take better care of your health.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — You'll attract unique people and opportunities, but before you decide to change your life, do your research. If you act on hype alone, disappointment will follow. Know what you are up against.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) — Be careful not to offend someone. Choose your words wisely and concentrate on doing what's right. Control your emotions, work on yourself and don't try to change others.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) — Invest in your future. Supplement your qualifications, update your look and prepare to promote what you want to do next. Don't limit what you can do; follow through with your plans.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

By Chuck Sheppard

This Couch Has a Lump: Alex Trejo, a reptile expert and owner of So-Cal Rattlesnake Removal, got more than he'd bargained for in a recent house call — about 7 feet more. While most folks never find anything more interesting than spare change in their couch cushions, one Chula Vista resident found a snake: a 7-foot-long Vietnamese blue beauty rat snake, to be precise. "This guy calls me, is pretty frantic and he's like, 'There's a snake in my couch,'" Trejo told ABC 10 News in San Diego. Trejo said he was shocked to find such a beast in a sofa, calling it a "once in a lifetime snake rescue" in a Facebook post. The species is nonvenomous, is not native to the United States, and was apparently not interested in being captured: "He didn't (bite) my skin, but he actually got the lining of my shirt," Trejo said. The snake is in the care of a specialist, receiving treatment for a respiratory infection. The animal's owner has not yet been located.