Sue Gray: Joe Lycett releases parody report into Downing Street lockdown parties

·2 min read

Joe Lycett has offered up his own version of the Sue Gray report as the nation awaits her findings about Downing Street lockdown parties.

Senior civil servant Gray is leading the Cabinet Office investigation into a series of gatherings which took place at No 10 when the country was in lockdown.

The police approved the publishing of the findings on Tuesday (25 January), but it has since been delayed amid reports that the report is being subjected to a last-minute “legal scrubbing”.

On Thursday (27 January), comedian Lycett parodied Gray’s future report by releasing his own version. It contained a mock summary of seven main findings about the “culture of Covid-19 regulation rule breaking at No 10 Downing Street”.

“BREAKING: Leaked Sue Gray report reveals shocking abuse of the rules,” the Joe Lycett’s Got Your Back presenter tweeted. “Hard to see how the PM can cling on after this.”

The fake report suggested that games were played called “pass the a***hole”, a group chat had been created called “Down It Street” and that ministers danced to “Pure & Simple” by Hear’Say.

“Before one of the gatherings [redacted] who worked closely with the PM insisted everyone be tested and was subsequently referred to as ‘T***eral Flow’ by advisors.”

You can read Lycett’s full mock report below.

The post left Twitter users in stitches, with a number admitting that they hadn’t initially realised that it wasn’t real.

“The saddest/funniest part of this was that up until point six, I hadn’t realised this as a joke,” one tweet read.

“Took me way too long to realise this was a p***take, god dammit,” another commenter wrote.

Downing Street said it was Johnson’s “intention” to publish the report as soon as possible after it reaches No 10, with a statement to MPs following shortly afterwards.

However, there are now suggestions that if Gray’s document is not delivered today it could be delayed into next week, because MPs will start heading back to their constituencies on Thursday.

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