Suicide specialist: Show the person you care

Mar. 22—There is hope.

Those are three of the most important words to remember if you or a loved one is thinking about ending your life, said James Hansen, a rural suicide prevention specialist based in Cheney.

Speaking to a group at the Veterans of Foreign Wars Outreach Center in Clarkston, Hansen shared his own experiences, insight and words of wisdom to help curb the alarming suicide rate among veterans.

"If you don't think there's hope, you can't see the future," Hansen said. "One of the biggest things we can do for others or ourselves is maintain fellowship and communication within a community."

Whether it's a book club, religious organization or motorcycle buddies, it's important for people to have a connection, he said. Online social circles, a group of friends with the same hobby or membership in a civic organization can be key to overcoming the depths of despair.

"If you belong to that community, it's going to increase your chances of staying alive," Hansen said. "It's important to have people checking on one another and taking time to really listen with empathy."

In addition, places such as the VFW Outreach Center provide a safe space for veterans to seek help, along with a national suicide and crisis lifeline, which can be reached by dialing or texting 988.

Some of the key signs of a suicidal person are "withdrawal and isolation, and feeling like a burden," Hansen said.

Connections to family, friends, culture and the community help protect against suicides, he said, along with limited access to lethal methods, such as firearms and medications, development of coping and problem-solving skills, and access to physical and mental health care.

Suicide isn't always about wanting to die, Hansen told the group. It's about wanting to end overwhelming pain.

When a friend tells you they are struggling, the best way to demonstrate empathy is to sit with them and say something such as, "Wow, that sounds like you're going through a lot right now." Immediately offering solutions to fix the problem, sharing a story about similar things that have happened to you, or pulling up a funny cat video to cheer them up are not recommended.

"Give your undivided attention, and show them you are really listening. Don't be judgmental, and let them know you care," Hansen said.

Before becoming a rural suicide prevention specialist in August, Hansen served 28 years in the military. He now provides peer counseling, support and prevention training to veterans, service members, law enforcement and their families in eastern Washington. His region includes Adams, Asotin, Columbia, Ferry, Garfield, Lincoln, Pend Oreille, Spokane, Stevens and Whitman counties.

The suicide rate for veterans was 52.3% greater than nonveteran U.S. adults, according to a 2019 study, and the leading cause of death was self-inflicted gunshot.

Although the number of veteran suicides has soared in recent years, "even one suicide is too many," Hansen said. Anyone who is experiencing hopelessness should seek help right away, because there is hope out there.

Veteran Affairs and Department of Health officials from Walla Walla and Olympia joined Hansen at the Clarkston gathering to provide help accessing services and programs. The Spokane Veterans Affairs also had its mobile vet center on site.

"It's important to have these services," Hansen said. "It's a team effort, and we all need to work together."

Chuck Whitman, an Asotin County commissioner and commander of the Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 1443, helped organize the event.

"We do a lot of classes here, and we're opening them up for the public," Whitman said.

The next one is focused on financial health and will take place at 1 p.m. April 7 at 829 15th St. More information and updates are available on the post's Facebook page or by calling (509) 758-4219.

During Hansen's presentation, Whitman said he was thankful for the important message and praised the speaker, who works for the Washington State Department of Veterans Affairs.

"He walks the walk and talks the talk," Whitman said. "He is definitely the real deal."

Sandaine can be reached at kerris@lmtribune.com