Support group gives homicide survivors a safe space to talk

Lauryn Moss
·3 min read

HAMPTON ROADS, Va. (WAVY) — When a homicide happens in the community, someone’s family takes on a lot of grief and trauma.

Just this year, 16 Hampton Roads families are dealing with those emotions after losing their loved one to homicide, according to the Gun Violence Archive.

Scharnelle Hamlin knows the feeling after losing a loved one.

“In 2012, I lost my cousin Travis to homicide and then more recently, 2022, a young man who I looked at as my nephew. I lost him on January 1st of 2022,” she said.

Hamlin said the pain still sticks with her.

“I’m being completely transparent with you that it hurts,” Hamlin said. “And that even though that one death happened two years ago and the other one happened 12 years, 14 years, it still feels like that day. Nothing changes about that.

“When your loved one is taken, that’s a different level of grief. That’s a different level of anger and different emotions that you go through. So we try to make our groups as conducive as we can.”

Finding resources after such a tragedy is something Hamlin said is difficult and often costs money.

“If you were to go and you were to call a grief counselor, sessions are usually anywhere between 100 and $125, you know, and some people can’t afford that,” Hamlin said. “It’s very expensive. So why should they be revictimized again? Because these resources are not available to them.”

She knows first-hand the importance of a support group when you are going through the healing process.

“I know that this program has saved a lot of people,” Hamlin said. “Suicide rates when you know when you lose a loved one to homicide, they spike because they don’t have an outlet. They don’t have anybody to talk to.”

The Homicide Survivor Support Groups give survivors a place to talk to other survivors and mental health professionals.

“We allow them to grieve as they must,” she said. “We just give them the coping strategies and, sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t, but they still keep coming back because that’s their safe space. … We care about them and we want to make sure that you’re OK, that we give you a safe place that you can come to and you can read and you can talk about your loved ones.”

The Homicide Survivor Support Groups through the Virginia Victim Assistance Network is free, thanks to grant funding.

Starting in March, there will be a new group in Norfolk. There are also groups in Hampton, Newport News, Portsmouth, Chesapeake and Isle of Wight County.

“Help is a phone call away,” Hamlin said, “and that’s what I want the community to know.”

Location and times of Homicide Survivor Support Groups

  • Hampton HSG meets in person on the 2nd and 4th Wednesday of the month from 5:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m.

  • Newport News HSG  meets on the 1st and 3rd Wednesday of each month from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. now until the end of February. Beginning in March, they will meet the 2nd Tuesday of the month in person from 5:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m.

  • Portsmouth HSG meets in-person every other Wednesday from 2 to 3:30 p.m. every other Wednesday and virtually on the 2nd Tuesday of the month from 6 to 7:30 p.m.

  • Chesapeake HSG meets in person on the 1st Wednesday of each month from 6:30 to 8 p.m.

  • Norfolk HSG will meet in person on the 1st and 3rd Wednesday of each month from 5:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m.

  • Isle of Wight HSG (serves Isle of Wight, Suffolk and Surry County residents) meets in person on the 1st Monday of every month from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. and virtually on the 3rd Tuesday from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m.

Click here for the link to register for the groups. You can also visit the Virginia Victim Assistance Network website to register and learn more.

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