'Supposed to be': Fathers share experiences with adoption

Jun. 18—The adults had been talking for a while, and 2-year-old Charlotte Fallati was growing restless.

In the kitchen of her family's Middletown home, she wiggled on her mother's lap, clutching a tiny wooden spoon. Her father sat beside them as Myla, their very skinny and very gray 13-year-old Boxer, panted happily at his feet.

The blonde little girl dug into the pile of toy clay in front of her and raised it to her mouth.

"Don't really eat it," her dad, Brian Fallati, chided her gently. "Hey, baby, pretend."

He paused, watching her touch the spoon to her lips.

"I mean, that's your dinner, if that's what you want," he said with a chuckle.

It doesn't feel like it to Charlotte's parents and three older siblings, but the toddler is a relatively new addition to the Fallati family. The date that Brian and her mom, Sara, adopted her — April 22, 2022 — is marked on a chalkboard by the front door.

This Father's Day, The Frederick News-Post is highlighting three dads who, with their partners, decided to adopt.

They shared stories about fatherhood and reflected on the light their adopted children have brought to their families.

"You just kind of wonder, 'Well, if they weren't here,'" one father, Scott Beach, said, "'what would my life be like?'"

Brian Fallati

Brian and Sara's children had very different personalities when they were little.

One of their daughters drew all over the walls and poured glue on the floor. Another daughter put the family cat in a stroller and pushed it around. Their son, the oldest, pretended to be a superhero all day long.

And now there's Charlotte.

"Charlotte thinks that she is the boss," Sara said.

"Yeah," Brian said with a laugh. "It's her world and we're just living in it."

The little girl came into the Fallati family's life about two years ago.

Since Brian and Sara started fostering Charlotte about two years ago, she has been an amazing gift to their family, Sara said. And, she added, she's such a daddy's girl.

"Are you mommy's girl?" she asked her daughter.

"No," the little girl replied with a big smile.

Brian has learned a lot about parenting since his son was born 21 years ago.

Now, he understands the importance of patience and listening — skills that were hard for him to grasp as a young dad.

"It's a lot easier if you just listen to what your kids need and have the patience to really understand them," he said. "They're just little people. They have their own thoughts and feelings."

Brian had a simple answer when asked what his hopes are for his children's future.

He wants them to be successful in whatever they choose to do, he said, and to be kind and caring to others.

"We want our kids to know that no matter what," he said as Charlotte babbled happily in her mother's arms, "we love them."

Christopher Chandler

From the moment Skylar arrived at the Chandler household, it felt like she was part of the family.

Christopher Chandler remembers coming home and sitting on the floor next to the 18-month-old girl he and his wife, Leshia, agreed to foster. Within seconds, he was playing with her and his two other children.

It felt as if Skylar were the child his family had been waiting for.

"It was like, 'Oh, hey,'" Christopher said. "'You're here.'"

After fostering Skylar for more than a year and a half, Christopher and Leshia adopted her in May 2020. Christopher said he's learned something different about fatherhood from each of his children.

Langston, 17, has taught Christopher what it means to be the father of a son. Christopher, who is Black, has spoken with him about how to handle the stress of growing up as an African American man in the United States and has tried to model what it means to be a motivated person.

Meanwhile, he's watched in awe as Hannah, his 10-year-old, exudes a remarkable level of compassion and empathy for her fellow human beings.

And from Skyler, who is white, Christopher is learning to understand and appreciate how the differences in their ethnic backgrounds will shape the way they experience the world.

While Christopher will always cherish how adoption was part of his family's story, he said he'd hate to make the impression there is any distance between Skylar and her siblings.

"She's my daughter," Christopher said. "Just like my other daughter is my daughter. Just like my son is my son. They're my children. She just joined our family in a different way."

Scott Beach

Shortly after Scott and Sherron Beach began fostering Ashley and Junior in February 2018, they took the siblings to an indoor water park in Montgomery County.

Soon, Ashley — then 7 years old — started begging to jump off the diving board. She had done it before, she told Scott. Eventually, he agreed.

But as soon as the little girl hit the water, she started struggling, eyes wide with panic. Even though a lifeguard was nearby, Scott immediately jumped in after her, soaking his T-shirt in the process.

Though the experience was terrifying at the time, Scott now sometimes teases Ashley about it.

"I just kind of say, 'Hey, don't forget, I saved your life,'" Scott said. "I'm your hero."

Ashley, now 12, will give her dad a smirk, even if she's in a rotten mood.

"I could've made it," she tells him.

Ashley and her 9-year-old brother, Junior, officially became members of the Beach family last December, when Scott and Sherron adopted them.

In some ways, Scott said, parenting Ashley and Junior has been a different journey than raising his two biological daughters. When the two children joined the Beach family, he said, they were carrying trauma from what they had experienced earlier in life.

Raising them has brought its fair share of challenges, Scott said. But it has also brought a lot of joy to him and Sherron.

Both kids have great senses of humor, he said. Junior has no filter and plenty of questions. Ashley is a self-declared tomboy who insists on taking part in any father-and-son activity that Scott and her little brother plan.

"Knowing that we came into each other's lives and are helping one another," he said, "it is what it's supposed to be."

Follow Angela Roberts on Twitter: @24_angier