‘Swan song’: St. Augustine parents feel time is short in longtime mental health care fight

We have published 80 articles in various newspapers, sharing our firsthand experience with our son's mental illness. In the past, I’ve stated that we would fight this fight as long as we were able. At age 77, the clock is ticking.

We write to reach out to those families facing this mental health nightmare. But it is going to take more ordinary people like us to make a difference. So, our plea is to ask other families enduring this crisis to please ― pick up the gauntlet and continue the fight.

Below are some excerpts from our columns that, over the years, particularly seemed to resonate with readers:

This will be my swan song. Those of us who can fight have got to. This has got to change. (Nov. 22, 2018)

A succinct letter from a reader that consisted of three haunting sentences I will carry with me for the rest of my life. "Great column. Wish it could have been on the front page. To know the end of the story, attend a meeting with Survivors of Suicide.” Submitted to the Times-Union by Judy Davis. (Jan. 10, 2017)

The brother of a friend of ours was hospitalized 34 times and booked in the Duval County jail 23 times before the ultimate disaster occurred. He was arrested for murdering his mother. (March 18, 2018)

Our question of priorities. We continue to literally step over homeless veterans on sidewalks across America; we continue to ignore the untreated mentally ill who stand on our street corners screaming at passing cars; we continue to accept months-long waiting lists for services in our mental hospitals. (Nov. 22, 2018)

With twice as many dying of suicide as homicide; with suicide being the second leading cause of death for people ages 25-34; and with school shootings painfully fresh in our memory … it is clear that our current approach is not working. (Feb. 17, 2019)

On suicide, I would say the most common warning sign I encountered involves the perception of being a burden to family and friends. That is, they weren't looking for an easy way out. Instead, they wanted to take their burden off others. (Sept. 13, 2020)

While flying combat missions in Vietnam, when people were going down around me, I used to think, “There but for the grace of God go I.” I have recommendations to all parents reading this. If you have not been forced to deal with mental illness, you need to thank God your family isn't enduring this nightmare. Quite frankly you are the ones who should be saying to yourselves, “There but for the grace of God go I.” (Oct. 18, 2020)

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I have heard it said mental illness is caused by bad parents. My response is, do these same people think Alzheimer's is caused by bad children? We do not understand how people can accept heart, lung or liver disease, but reject the reality of a brain disease. (July 11, 2021)

Another perspective, from “No One Cares About Crazy People” by Ron Powers: "This is the book I promised myself I would never write. I have kept that promise for a decade ― since our younger son, Kevin, hanged himself in our basement, a week before his 21st birthday after struggling with schizophrenia." (April 26, 2022)

In a Wall Street Journal article published July 22, “It's time to Bring Back Asylums,” author David Oshinsky: "Unsurprisingly, the nation's three largest mental health facilities are the Los Angeles County jail, the Cook County jail in Chicago and Rikers Island in New York City. Approximately one-quarter of their inmates have been diagnosed with a serious mental disorder." (Aug. 19, 2023)

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A telling 2018 National Review article provides the numbers we can't ignore: “From its historic peak in 1955 to 2016, the number of state psychiatric-hospital beds in the United States plummeted almost 97%. There are now fewer beds per capita in the United States than there were in 1850.” (Aug. 19, 2023)

And finally, what drew the biggest response?

The terrifying question that we and other families like us have is: Who will be there for our children after we have passed away?" (Oct. 11, 2019)

Richard & Kathleen Marquis, St. Augustine

This guest column is the opinion of the author and does not necessarily represent the views of the Times-Union. We welcome a diversity of opinions.

This article originally appeared on Florida Times-Union: Local parents of mentally ill adult child wonder what the future holds