Talk Back: Great buys abound at Saturday’s radio auction
Psst! Want a can’t-miss stock tip guaranteed to make you billions? Well, lean in close so we can whisper it into that little flower you’re wearing. Armies. Not the kind that defend nations against all enemies, foreign and domestic. No, we’re talking about something far different.
Those inflatable plastic thingees non-swimmers wear so they can tread water.
The way we hear it, everybody will need at least a couple sets. Not only have the world’s foremost glaciologists — that’s what folks who sing “Ice ice baby” at all hours of the night are called — discovered the Greenland ice sheet is now in an irreversible melting trend that will leave us all permanent inhabitants of the underseas world of Jacques Cousteau, but a gigantic iceberg about twice as big as Houston has just broken loose from where it was trapped 20 years ago.
And it’s comin’ right for us!
But if Pools R Us runs out of armies before you can stock up — it’s supposed to be 75 years before we all live in yellow submarines, but that’s a lot of hooey — there is good news. Behind door number three is … a new, inflatable porta-lounger! Yes, you can ride out the waves in comfort. Or book a flight by plane or glider to higher ground, far above the incoming tsunami. And during this Saturday’s Adrian Breakfast Lions Club and Hillsdale Lions Club’s radio auction, it can all be yours.
If the price is right.
Yes, this year’s auction on Buzz 102.5 FM, buzz1025.com and dougspade.com is so big and so spectacular it takes two clubs to put it on. And if someone else snags the aforementioned escape pods, never fear. We’ve also got tickets for some great shows in both Lenawee and Hillsdale counties, and guess what? When they’re over, you can use those theater seats as flotation devices at no additional charge. Speaking of which, we’ve also got multiple sets of Detroit Tigers tickets.
Great seats, eh buddy?
And if you like gift baskets, we have oodles of ’em, too — containing spices, farmhouse items, jewelry, hair products and, for all you Yogis and Boo-Boos, pic-a-nic baskets, too! A great place to hide your … scratch that … for using to store all your other auction winnings. And we’ve got so much you can put in them, too. Cookware, dinnerware and all sorts of kitchen appliances. Like coffee makers and toasters, a food processor, skillets, blenders, waffle makers and even an auction first: a food dehydrator.
And we’re just getting started.
There are gift cards and food certificates to just about every restaurant around. Plus furniture and fitness memberships, eye exams and dental service, oil changes and wheel alignments, car washes, pet supplies, even dry cleaning and Girl Scout cookies, along with assorted CDs, including one from the Notre Dame Marching Band.
From adults to kids to in between, there are plenty of “must haves.” Practical items like legal services, a pruning saw and other power tools, grocery certificates, and Visa gift cards that spend just like cash. Fun things like a half-gallon coffee mug — we’ve got coffee, too, so you might as well bid on both — and a dog treat launcher. Ready for summer? There’s a great tailgating grilling package — the grill looks like a giant football — lawn and garden care, football and hockey tickets, and designer purses. And just for good measure, some winter items, too.
In case it snows on auction day.
See more at www.dougspade.com. Then fire up your phone and practice dialing 517-266-4546. And get ready to bid early, bid high and bid often.
Lest we beat you to the punch.
Talk Back with Doug Spade and Mike Clement is heard every Saturday morning from 9 a.m. to noon Eastern Time on Buzz 102.5 FM and online at www.dougspade.com and www.lenconnect.com.
This article originally appeared on The Daily Telegram: Talk Back: Great buys abound at April 29 radio auction
