How to talk to children about school shootings after 6 people killed at Nashville school
Just as the school week began across the country Monday, news broke that another school shooting was unfolding in the United States.
On Monday morning, according to officials, three children and three staff members were shot and killed at the Covenant School, a private Christian school for students in preschool through sixth grade, in Nashville, Tennessee.
The female suspect, who has not been publicly identified, was shot and killed by authorities inside the school. No one who was shot survived, officials said.
The deadly shooting is one of the nearly 130 mass shootings that have taken place so far this year in the U.S., according to the Gun Violence Archive, which defines a mass shooting as one in which four or more victims are shot or killed, not including the shooter.
The Nashville school shooting is now also on the long list of school shootings that have taken place in the past decade, since the Dec. 14, 2012, shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School that claimed the lives of 20 students and six educators.
With each school shooting, the number of people affected by school shootings grows, as do the conversations parents and caregivers must have with kids about the reality of gun violence in the U.S.
Read on to see five tips from experts on how to discuss school shootings with kids.
1. Be proactive about talking with kids in an age-appropriate way
ABC News chief medical correspondent Dr. Jennifer Ashton said last July -- shortly after 19 students and two teachers were killed at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas -- that topics like school shootings should be discussed with kids in a proactive and age-appropriate way.
"The first step is to make an age-appropriate dialogue, open lines of communication with your child," Ashton said, later adding, "We shouldn't sit back and wait for them to come up and say, 'Mom, Dad, I'd like to talk about gun violence.'"
She continued, "We're going to need to take the first step and come to them early and often and say, 'What are you thinking about? What are you afraid of? What questions do you have?'"
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Ashton also encouraged parents and caregivers to lead with honesty and transparency and to not be afraid to say "I don't have an answer" or to share their feelings.
If an adult doesn't have an answer, Ashton recommended they use dialogue like, "I don't have an answer to that but I'll help you find it."
And if an adult has fear after a school shooting as children often do, Ashton said they can reassure a child by saying, "I know you're scared, so am I, but let me tell you what your teachers and what your parents and community are trying to do to help you stay safe.'"
Psychiatrist and author Dr. Janet Taylor said it is important for children to feel like they can talk to their parents and caregivers about their concerns.
"It’s really important we remind them how they are safe within our own household, and as importantly, remind them what they need to do when they feel unsafe, where the feeling is, what they can say and who they can come to," Taylor told ABC News last year, after the Uvalde shooting. "As parents and as adults and as caregivers, we want our children, if they’re feeling unsafe, to come to us and talk to us."
2. Monitor children's behavior
Taylor said children may respond to disturbing news about mass shootings in different ways, and parents and caregivers should pay attention to see if their child's behaviors change.
Children may experience problems focusing, have difficulty sleeping or become more irritable, according to Taylor.
"If you have younger children and they suddenly get more clingy or want to sleep in bed with you, pay attention to that and cuddle them as they need it," Taylor told "GMA" in 2022. "Older kids may become more isolated or feel that they have to solve things by themselves."
3. Practice stress reduction techniques
News of mass shootings can negatively impact children and adults and trigger anxiety and other feelings of stress. Author and educator Rachel Simmons said breathing exercises can help for kids but also for parents, who can model the practice.
"You can take a deep breath, count to three, hold it for three and then let it out for three, so it's nine seconds of breathing in ... and breathing out. Do it three times," Simmons told ABC News in 2019. "They can kind of drop back into their bodies and feel a lot calmer."
4. Remember to check-in with kids
Instead of discussing a school shooting only once, Robin Gurwitch, a licensed clinical psychologist and Duke University professor, said it's crucial to continue the conversation over time.
"A one-and-done conversation is not sufficient," Gurwitch told ABC News in 2018, after 17 students and teachers were killed at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. "Let your child or teenager know that 'I really do care about you and I am open to having this discussion.'"
She continued, "It is really important to check back in tomorrow, to check back in the next day, to find out, 'What are your friends talking about related to this school shooting?'"
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5. Seek professional help
If a child's stress levels or response to a mass shooting are hard to manage, experts say parents shouldn't hesitate to seek guidance from their pediatrician, a local psychological association, a counselor, social worker or other mental health experts and community leaders.
"I think the first things is get professional help," Ashton said.
Licensed psychologist Dr. Sanam Hafeez also pointed out that if a parent or caregiver is struggling themselves, they also should not wait to seek help.
"Psychologists, psychiatrists, mental health professionals like myself are available," Hafeez told ABC News in 2021, adding that mental health help is also accessible via telehealth. "So if you feel that your anxiety is at an all-time high from not just coping with the stressors that are facing us but from mass shootings ... if you feel that your anxiety is where you are really afraid to go back into the real world and you're missing out on life, it's time to seek help."
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network offers comprehensive resource guides for parents, caregivers and educators to support students. Click here for resources related to school shootings.
If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, free, confidential help is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Call or text the national lifeline at 988. Even if you feel like it, you are not alone.
ABC News' Yi-Jin Yu contributed to this report.
How to talk to children about school shootings after 6 people killed at Nashville school originally appeared on goodmorningamerica.com
