Taraji P. Henson 'wasn't doing well' with her mental health – so she did something about it

Taraji P. Henson is "in a good place."

But she wasn't always.

Henson, 52, isn't a stranger to therapy and her resume for mental health advocacy proves it. In 2018, she launched the Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation, named after her father who struggled with PTSD and bipolar disorder, to support services for those in need. The next year she spoke before Congress, shedding tears while discussing mental health issues impacting the Black community. In 2020 she told Entertainment Tonight she'd experienced suicidal ideation during the pandemic but became "much better" after talking it out.

But while speaking loudly about mental health awareness, the actress was silently building a brick wall that shattered her self-described “happy, bubbly” personality.

“I wasn't doing well. Nothing could make me happy: jobs, things, stuff. I developed a shopping habit and nothing was fulfilling.” Henson says. “I was tightly wound. Every little thing would set me off, and I didn't like who I was becoming.”

Taraji P. Henson 'didn't want to come back' to the U.S. after healing

Henson recalls “spiraling out of control” during the pandemic. She'd lost friends to suicide and was feeling mentally overwhelmed.

Her happiness returned after taking a month-long solo trip to Bali, an experience Henson says has made her the happiest she’s been “in a long, long time.”

“It was the most beautiful experience I ever had in my life, and I really didn't want to come back,” she says.

She says her “Eat Pray Love" trip transformed her into a “post-Bali Taraji” and led her to collaborate with Kate Spade, a fashion label that lost its co-founder to suicide in 2018. They've partnered to build oases on HBCU campuses that provide free virtual and in-person therapy sessions as well as self-regulatory practices such as music, art and dance therapy for female students who may not have the resources to recalibrate their minds in a different continent.

Mental illness among college-aged adults is high. Henson wanted to do something.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, young adults between the ages of 18 to 25 had the “highest prevalence” of mental illness among other age groups based on data collected by the 2021 National Survey on Drug Use and Health. The survey also showed that the same age group had the lowest percentage of those who received mental health treatment.

Mental illness within Black communities are consistent with the rates of the general population but according to the American Psychiatric Association disparities "exist in regard to mental health care services."

The campus wellness structures will act as sanctuariesfor a demographic at the crux of the ongoing mental health conversation in the country. The first wellness pod will be constructed on Alabama State University's campus.

“I became pregnant when I was in college, so did other girls. A lot of them dropped out because they didn’t have the help,” Henson, who attended Howard University, says. “That does a thing to you ... I couldn't do (a thing) about it then, but I can do something about it now."

Henson brings diversity to therapy after struggling to find help

Henson also hopes bringing therapy to HBCU campuses can diversify the field after she struggled to find a therapist when she first started her healing journey.

"It's really hard to find someone that looks like us, that I can talk to and feel comfortable speaking to," Henson says. "Because we don't talk about it at home. There aren't enough therapists out there because our kids aren't going into that field because we talk about it."

Experts say finding the right therapist can be arduous but is beneficial to your mental health.

"Therapy isn't always comfortable but it should always be safe," Lauren Ross, of Texas Premarital Counseling previously told USA TODAY. "If you don't feel like you can be honest with your therapist, they probably won't be very helpful for you,"

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Taraji P. Henson on her mental health crisis: I 'wasn't doing well'