Teen Tells Mother What She Believes She’s Doing Wrong When It Comes To Parenting

Heather says she’s at her wits’ and no longer knows how to parent her teen daughter, Marissa. She describes the 15-year-old as “Jekyll and Hyde,” claiming that one minute she’s an honor roll student and the next, she’s a pot-smoking car thief who admits to stealing her mother’s vehicle nine times. Marissa says her mother is too overprotective and that her punishments make her want to rebel more. Mother and daughter have turned to Dr. Phil for advice, and he has them participate in an exercise. Marissa reads statements to her mother about how her parenting is not meeting the needs of the teen. See what happens in the video above. On Thursday’s episode, parenting expert and author Dr. Michele Borba examines Heather’s parenting style and offers her tips for being more effective. And, Dr. Borba shares how parents can create resilient children. Watch more from "'How Do I Parent My ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ Daughter?'" TELL DR. PHIL YOUR STORY: Do you have a hopeless mother or daughter conflict? WATCH: Want A Resilient Kid? Figure Out Your Child’s Interests

Video Transcript

DR. PHIL: It's clear to me that there is a breakdown in communication between this mother and daughter. And I want Marissa to let her mother know the things that she is not picking up on when it comes to her needs. Now, before the show, we had Marissa respond to some statements, and Marissa is going to read these to her mother, Heather. And Heather can only say one thing. "Thank you for caring enough to tell me that." That's your only response. Now, I want mother and daughter, if you all would stand up, OK?

- OK.

DR. PHIL: And now take five steps backwards, each of you.

OK. Make eye contact beginning now with each other. Look each other in the eye. Look--

HEATHER: Oh, sorry.

DR. PHIL: You already not doing--

HEATHER: I know. I'm horrible with eye contact.

DR. PHIL: You're already not following directions. Look each other in the eye. Don't look at me, don't look at Dr. Borba. OK. Dr, Borba, the floor is yours.

MICHELE BORBA: You have already filled these out. so what you're going to do, you're going to read each one out loud, stop, and then you'll take one step forward, and you'll take a step forward. Start from the beginning.

MARISSA: Here's why your discipline isn't working: taking everything from me shuts me out from everything, and it makes me want to take advantage to sneak out.

HEATHER: Thank you for sharing wi-- me. I forgot the--

BOTH: Thank you for caring enough to tell me that.

HEATHER: Thank you for caring enough to tell me that.

- OK.

MARISSA: Here's what I need you to say when I mess up: "just because you messed up doesn't mean that it defines you."

HEATHER: Thank you for caring enough to tell me that.

MARISSA: Here's one thing you don't know about me: I'm scared that you won't ever be able to trust me again.

HEATHER: Thank you for caring enough to tell me that.

MARISSA: Here's what you don't understand about me: I am changing and I'm not the person I used to be.

HEATHER: Thank you for caring enough to tell me that.

MARISSA: Here's what I want you to know about how I feel about you: I think you're an amazing parent, but I think it's time for you to let me go a little bit and make choices myself.

HEATHER: Thank you for caring enough to tell me that. I love you.

MARISSA: I love you.

HEATHER: I mean that. And just, I mean, Dr. Phil doesn't even know me and he knows that. My love is never going to change.

MARISSA: I know. I love you, too.

HEATHER: And I want to be that mom to you that I never had.

MARISSA: I know.

HEATHER: I love you.

MARISSA: I love you.