The Ten Commandments of running with the social deities

OK, so they're not engraved on stone tablets and weren't carried down the mountain by Charlton Heston. But ignore them at your peril.

Palm Beach has its own set of social commandments, adhered to by the long-established social lions and the savvy parvenu.

They're what make Palm Beach the City on the Hill of society — even though there are no hills and it's not a city. They separate the peak-dwellers from the climbers.

Be a peak-dweller.

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1. Thou shalt respect the social calendar.

This means not scheduling a major event on the same night as another, or not scheduling a cocktail party on the same night your social nemesis is having everyone in for dinner. And no, it doesn't matter that she stole your nanny.

2. Honor thy chairwoman, for she takes plenty of heat from everybody else.

3.Thou shalt not whine.

Not about your seating, not about the off-tasting Merlot, not about the lukewarm lamb chops, not about thy dinner partner. Maketh a joyful noise unto the social gods or shut up.

4. Thou shalt be charitable.

Charity is the cog that drives the Palm Beach social machine. Keep it greased.

5. Thou shalt make the effort.

Dress appropriately; show up on time; engage in animated, happy conversation; take a turn or two around the dance floor; leave at a reasonable hour; and compliment the chairwoman/man or host/ess.

6. Thou shalt not drink to excess.

"Balanced diet" does not mean a martini in each hand. When there is only enough vodka left in the world for me or thee, then thee will drink water.

7. Thou shalt respect the help, whether one's own or someone else's.

Help-abusers have a special place in Social Hell. It's right there next to the screw-top wine.

8. Thou shalt not touch the place cards.

You will be smitten by a plague of social locusts. Or a bunch of houseguests from Boca.

9. Thou shalt not bypass the receiving line.

Unless you've had a knee or hip replacement in the last month, stand in line and offer good wishes to the chairman/woman. They earned it.

And finally,

10. Thou shalt not gossip, unless, of course, thou art 100% sure of thy source, the gossip is jaw-dropping and only if thou gossipeth to us first.

sdonnelly@pbdailynews.com

This article originally appeared on Palm Beach Daily News: Palm Beach: 10 commandments of socializing