Tennessee Voices, Episode 256: Heather Burwell, author of 'Grief Doesn't Do Math'

When her husband died suddenly in 2013, Heather Burwell realized the traditional manual for dealing with grief was not for her.

She was now a widow with a 4-year-old son, who lost his father.

While the well-known "Five Stages of Grief" prescribe an itemized way to organize one's emotions, grief is messy, Burwell told me on this episode of the Tennessee Voices podcast.

After her tragedy, Burwell went on to receive a master of divinity at Vanderbilt and turned her research into a book called "Grief Doesn't Do Math," which was released in the fall of 2021.

Heather Burwell
Heather Burwell

She emphasized that grievers need to grieve and that grief just does not go away. The loss is always with the person.

Burwell added that grievers need people to support them. Sometimes, it is just as important to be present as it is to try to do something for someone who is grieving.

Many times, out of good intentions. people can say hurtful things. They should be mindful of words can do to someone in pain.

In 2020 as COVID raged, she remarried and her son has a father in his life again. Her marriage has brought her happiness, but her grief will always be with her, as it is for so many people who have suffered the loss of loved ones.

Op-Ed by Heather Burwell: Grief is a process that requires more than just time

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About Tennessee Voices

The Tennessee Voices videocast is a 20-minute program, which started in March 2020 and invites leaders, thinkers and innovators who have written guest columns for a USA TODAY Network Tennessee publication to share their insights and wisdom with me and our viewers.

Please email your ideas for future guests to me at dplazas@tennessean.com. Thank you for watching.

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David Plazas is the director of opinion and engagement for the USA TODAY Network Tennessee and an editorial board member of The Tennessean. Tweet to him at @davidplazas.

This article originally appeared on Nashville Tennessean: Tennessee Voices: Grief is messy; grievers need respect and support