'Thank you for remembering': Hundreds gather to honor Borderline shooting victims
Lorrie Dingman stood at a podium five years after her 21-year-old son, Blake Dingman, was shot and killed at the Borderline Bar & Grill in Thousand Oaks.
She faced a sea of people, some dabbing at their eyes, many wearing T-shirts bearing the names of Blake and the 11 others killed in the storm of gunfire and smoke that descended on the bar at 11:18 p.m. on Nov. 7, 2018. “Borderline Strong," the shirts said. "In Loving Memory.”
“As much as we wish this reality was not ours, it is,” she said of Blake’s death and the mass shooting by a gunman who killed himself.
With her husband, Dan, standing with her, she talked about learning to live with the grief, trying to use it to help others and fight what she called evil. She asked others to do the same. She focused also on what people have already done.
“We thank you,” she said, “for remembering our 12 loves.”
About 500 people came to a day of remembrance Tuesday — a crowd larger than some expected. Many who came to the Thousand Oaks healing garden built after the shooting had been in the bar that night. Some jumped out windows, raced out exits or waited in terror for the killing to end.
Chris Sharp, then an engineer and now a captain with the Ventura County Fire Department, was one of the first responders at the bar. He and others raced to the people who had been shot looking for any signs of life.
"We touched everyone," he said at the podium. The memories of the night and of those who couldn't be helped because they were hurt too badly still emerge every day.
“I didn’t want to talk about it at for a year,” Sharp said.
Then he started telling his story to fellow firefighters and many others. They told him it made a difference.
Now, training for new firefighters includes a session with Sharp about that night. He shows them pictures of the Borderline 12 and tells them what it was like.
Gunfire, smoke and death: Five years later, Borderline survivors work at moving forward
“If I could tell you guys anything,” he said Tuesday, addressing survivors, first responders and others, “it would be don’t be afraid to tell your story. You never know who it’s going to help.”
Family members lit candles for the victims. Jason Coffman blew a kiss to his son, Cody Gifford-Coffman, who died that night. Wendy Anderson said a moment before the program that her daughter, Noel Sparks, visits her often in lucid dreams, bringing energy and warmth.
After the ceremony, people walked through the gardens and took pictures of a memorial plaque strewn with flowers. Some carried paper lanterns for the victims.
Michael Morisette’s 20-year-old daughter, Kristina, died that night. He helped organize the remembrance. After the program, he sat on a bench in the pavilion and talked about the intersecting circles of people whose lives changed— the victims' families, the people line-dancing that night in the bar, the firefighters and deputies, the medical examiner, victim advocates and many more.
“It just doesn’t seem to end,” he said.
The victims killed at the Borderline were Sean Adler, Blake Dingman, Jake Dunham, Cody Gifford-Coffman, Sgt. Ron Helus, Alaina Housley, Daniel Manrique, Justin Meek, Mark Meza, Kristina Morisette, Telemachus Orfanos and Noel Sparks.
Tom Kisken covers health care and other news for the Ventura County Star. Reach him at tom.kisken@vcstar.com or 805-437-0255.
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This article originally appeared on Ventura County Star: Hundreds gather in Thousand Oaks five years after Borderline shooting
