From good-natured sibling ribbing to forced re-watching of 1980s dance recitals, there's nothing like a family gathering to inspire some good old joking around and belly-aching laughter. And while the family patriarch will likely be dishing out his fair share of dad jokes ("Dad jokes? I think you mean rad jokes...") come the family holiday, you can find your own footing on the funny branch of the family tree with a few Thanksgiving jokes, puns, witticisms, and one-liners of your own.
In addition to providing some levity should the Thanksgiving Day discussion turn to politics, or in case mom accidentally burns the big bird, these humorous musings will come in handy as you're sitting around, post-meal, deliberating about what will make for the most engaging (yet effortless) Thanksgiving Instagram caption for that artful shot of sweet potato casserole. These playful expressions will also make for fun-loving banter in the kitchen—again, providing levity in a high-stress, double-ovens-fired-up situation—but they're also just the words to jot down on a card, win over the kids' table, or—if you really want to go the extra mile—print on a T-shirt. (C'mon, don't you want to see Aunt Margaret wearing a t-shirt that says Feast Mode?)
When You're Prepping in the Kitchen
"Let's give 'em pumpkin' to talk about."
"I'm all about that baste."
"Activate: Feast Mode."
"Don't marsh my mellow."
"You've really got your turk cut out for you."
"You're the belle of the (Butter)ball."
"Why did the chef refuse to crack an egg? He didn't want to whisk it."
"Baking is my cardio."
"They see me rollin', they hatin'."
When You're Talking Turkey
Turkin' 9 to 5
Turkey trot like it's hot.
"Hey I just met you, and this is gravy, but here's my stuffing, so carve me maybe."
"My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn't quit cold turkey."
"Gobble 'til you wobble."
"Getting the longer part of the wishbone is a snap."
"We’ll worry about the Christmas tree later. Today it’s all about the poul-tree."
“Don’t make Thanksgiving a cluster-pluck”
"What do you call a running turkey?" "Fast food."
"Why did the cranberry turn red?" "Because he saw the turkey dressing!"
"What sound does a turkey's phone make?" "Wing, wing, wing."
When You're Diving Into the Sides
"Turkey, gravy, beans, and rolls. Let me see that casserole."
"Wham, yam, thank you ma'am."
"Much ado about stuffing."
"Stop, drop, and pass the rolls!"
"It doesn't get butter than this."
"Bread-y or not, here I crumb."
"Eat, drink, and cranberry."
"Pour some gravy on me."
"Nobody puts gravy in the corner."
"You ain't seen stuffing yet."
"Life's gourd, and then you pie."
"Whatever floats your gravy boat."
When It's Time for Dessert
"I only have pies for you."
"I pecan't even." (Oh, yes, you pe-can.)
“Let’s give them pumpkin to talk about”
"Whip, whip, hooray."
"When I whip, you whip, we whip..."
"I like big Bundts and I cannot lie."
"My favorite actor is Robert Brownie Jr."
"Sure, abs are great, but have you ever had pumpkin pie?"
When You're Pouring the Wine
"Let's get basted."
"Let's get sauced."
"You had me at merlot."
"No wine left behind."
"What does a grape say when it gets stepped on?" "Nothing, it just lets out a little wine."
When You're Too Full to Lift a Finger
"Oh my gourd, I ate too much."
"Baste. Thanksgiving. Ever."
"Silence of the yams."
"That was plucking delicious!"
"It's all fun and games until you have to unbutton your pants."
When It's Time for Round Two
"Knock, knock! Who’s there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any leftovers?"
"Piece out." (As you take off with leftover pie)
"I can't quit cold-turkey."
"I was planning on taking home leftovers, but all my plans were foiled."
"Feast today, for tomorrow, we shop!"
"Leftovers are for quitters."
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