10 Seriously Annoying Characters Every Office Suffers
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If you’ve ever worked in an office you’ll have come across a few of these. If not, well…you might just be one of them.
1. The Office Bore
The Office Bore pounces on its unsuspecting victims while they’re alone and vulnerable - this could be in the kitchen, by the photocopier or outside the toilet. The conversation is always one-way and tedious. Those unfortunate enough to get ensnared can expect to lose precious irredeemable minutes of their lives. If you see the Office Bore approaching do not make eye contact. If they attempt to initiate conversation, don’t panic, walk past at a steady pace and pretend you’re crying.
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2. The Food Thief
Understand, you will never catch the Food Thief. They will steal bits of your lunch and even groceries, should you be foolish enough to leave them in the fridge. They are elusive and without conscience.
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3. The Microwave Contaminator
No food is too offensive for the Microwave Contaminator. Kippers, last nights takeaway, their dead dogs balls. They don’t care what you’re about to heat up next, they think the microwave is just for them.
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4. The Sloth
The Sloth has unsavoury personal hygiene. They think nothing of picking their nose and using your mouse. They’ll happily chomp spare ribs loudly at their desk and clip their nails during lunch time. You strongly suspect it’s them that pees all over the toilet seat but you have no firm evidence to prove it.
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5. The Over-Sharer
The Over-Sharer has no knowledge on the art of conversation. Their eagerness to share personal information about themselves is deeply unsettling. You know about their food allergies, controversial opinions and even what position they used to conceive their baby. Don’t be fooled, you’re not the kind of person people ‘naturally open up to’, the Over-Sharer doesn’t care who they’re talking to, any willing audience will do.
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6. The Office Spectre
There when you arrive, there when you leave. They were even there that one Saturday you popped in to retrieve your wallet. The Office Spectre is probably having marriage problems or is incredibly lonely.
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7. The Loud One
The Loud One doesn’t have an inside voice. When they’re talking on the phone the whole office knows it. When they’re violently punching out an email on their keyboard, the whole ruddy office knows it. Don’t take your lunch break at the same time as the Loud One unless you want your BLT with a side of their voice.
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8. The Organised Fun Enthusiast
The Organised Fun Enthusiast wants everyone to be friends. They don’t understand that all their colleagues want, at the end of the day, is not be at work. They want to prolong the agony of office life with stupid plans like treasure hunts, paint balling or a drink at the pub.
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9. The Point-Labourer
A close cousin of the Office Bore. Pity the person who gets stuck in a meeting with the Point-Labourer, this is the environment they thrive in best. They love nothing more than holding court, listening to the sound of their own voice express a single opinion over and over.
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10. The Morning Person
That chipper guy or gal who, on a Monday morning, wants to know all about your weekend before you’ve even had the chance to take your coat off and get yourself a cup of tea. Get lost, morning person.
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