The Reality Vs Expectation Of 1st Birthday Parties
‘Got to admit mum I was expecting a bit more’ [Photo: Rex Features]
You may have been planning their first birthday shindig since before they were born, but your baby couldn’t give a Farley’s Rusk. To the infant child, it’s just another day of the calendar year. Sadly, first birthday parties, as Kate and William are due to discover as they celebrate Princess Charlotte’s, are yet another parenting example where the reality is a whole world away from the expectation.
The Gifts
You’ve spent the best part of a month’s salary on the must-have present du jour that’s currently languishing discarded in the corner while your baby has a jolly old time playing with the 99p wrapping paper. The present you lovingly pictured becoming a sort of family heirloom, will remain unplayed with for the next year, until you give in, stick it on eBay and end up accepting a tenner for it, postage included. Doh!
Party decoration dreams Vs reality [Photos: Rex Features and pixabay.com via Pexels]
The Decorations
The theme will have been decided six months before the event and the decs will be Pinterest perfect. Think cute animal bunting, oversized paper flowers and those retro milk glass bottles filled with pink milk that are hugely impractical for babies but will look amazing on your Instagram. In reality, though the theme was decided six months ago, you didn’t get time to actually attempt anything from Pinterest. Before you know it you’re doing a day-before dash to Poundland to stock up on cheap paper plates and those plastic things that squawk when you blow in them.
The Cake
Inspired by Mary Berry you decide you need to be the one to make your baby’s first cake, I mean how hard can it be? Well really quite hard it turns out. First attempt, quickly becomes fifth and when Peppa Pig starts to resemble The Gruffalo you give up and hotfoot it to Asda to grab a slightly squashed Victoria Sponge, which your little one dribbles over when you lift him up to ‘blow’ out the candles.
‘How long did your party outfit last?’ [Photo: Rex Features]
The Games
You picture a sweet little circle of babies laughing happily as they play a cute game of pass the parcel. Pah! In your dreams! One baby is having a sugar-induced meltdown, two are making a break for the door, and four babies are crying because those cheap Poundland balloons keep frigging popping!
The Outfit
You spend months scouring Insta-baby accounts for party outfit inspo fitting for your little cherub’s first party. Only to find that the perfect fancy pants outfit stays clean for, ooh, all of two minutes. Though you manage to do some damage limitation by blotting the dribbled chocolate with a packet and a half of wipes, your efforts are entirely in vain when ten minutes later a poonami means you have to abandon party clobber altogether and put your baby in the emergency babygrow that’s been languishing at the bottom of your changing bag for the past two months.
Trust us, we feel like crying too! [Photo: Rex Features]
You
You’ll have time to get your hair done, paint all ten finger nails and will be looking yummy-mummy fresh in the skinny jeans you haven’t been able to squeeze into since before you were pregnant. Everyone will have an amazing time and people will be in awe of your party throwing capabilities. The reality? In the ten minutes you have to get ready you manage to scrape your hair into a #mumbun, you paint three of your ten nails and you can’t get into your pre-pregnancy jeans, so have to wear your maternity pair instead. You’re exhausted from running around after everyone, have baby sick down your top, cake in your hair and you’ll be damned if you throw another party again. Until next year…
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