'There's more of us than you think': Middletown man encourages fellow veterans with PTSD
Don Redondo remembers the day his inner battle with post-traumatic stress disorder and depression started to turn.
“The day I put a gun in my mouth,” he said.
It was 2014, eight years after he returned from serving in the Iraq War as an Army medic.
“You get to a point where you lose your why, you don’t know your purpose, nothing seems relevant,” he said. “It’s hard to even crack a smile. Life becomes overwhelming.”
Then a photo caught his eye. It was of his daughter Mia, then 11 years old, playing the keyboard and singing during the halftime show of a New York Knicks basketball game at Madison Square Garden.
“I just broke down and unloaded my weapon and locked it up,” he said.
Help for veterans:After years in the making, new Toms River VA clinic coming in 2024
The longtime Middletown resident enrolled at Brookdale Community College and eventually graduated from Georgian Court University in Lakewood with a degree in psychology. He’s launched a foundation to help fellow veterans, and next week, he is taking four of them on a therapeutic trip to Arches National Park in Utah.
“I’ve struggled with suicidal ideation for years; I made it my mission to figure out ways to overcome this,” he said. “And once I did, I couldn’t just sit back and let this epidemic still go on. So I am doing my part in my community, to see what I can do about it”.
For the 41-year-old Redondo, who recently relocated to the Bayville section of Berkeley, every day is Veterans Day.
'There's more of us than you think'
According to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, between 11% and 20% of veterans who served in Operations Iraqi Freedom and Enduring Freedom (the war in Afghanistan) have PTSD in a given year. For Gulf War (Desert Storm) veterans, the figure is 12%. For Vietnam veterans, it’s estimated that 30% have endured PTSD in their lifetime.
“While (combat is) happening, you really don’t have much time to reflect on it, but when you get home, that’s when it really starts to hurt you,” Redondo said. “You don’t feel like you have anybody to talk to who understands. You don’t want to burden people with how you’re feeling.”
That’s why connecting with fellow veterans is vital.
“When you come home from combat you feel isolated, a fish out of water, that you don’t belong,” Redondo said. “There’s more of us than you think.”
'He was one I remember': Lacey man dies after years helping fellow 9/11 first responders
He found kinship with Tom Kiselow, an Ocean County resident who served in the Marines from 1997 to 2001 and was deployed in Kosovo.
“When men and women join the military right out of high school, they leave behind the main support system, their friends and family (and form a new network in the military),” Kiselow explained. “When they get out of the service they no longer have that support network on a daily basis; their network is scattered all over the country. What Don has decided to do is rebuild your network through the community you live in, so you’ll have a support network that is local.”
Kiselow is director of operations for Vetwork, a a Lacey-based charity for veterans.
“Sometimes the hardest part with helping any veteran is getting them to show up,” Kiselow said. “Once you get them to show up and get them to start talking, things have a way of starting to work out.”
Show up and talk. That’s a goal when Redondo gasses up his RV for the trip to Utah.
'Jeff's legacy':Barnegat landscaper donates Route 72 land for homeless veterans' camp
A 'life-changing' companion
A big step in Redondo’s journey has been his partnership with Samarra, a Dutch shepherd service dog given to him by Anything is PAWSible, an initiative run out of Absolute Control Dog Training Academy in Medford, Burlington County.
“We could not find a match for this dog, and they just hit it off,” said Miranda Chick-Lamb, who facilitated the pairing. “When he came to us, you could tell he’s a great guy and he has a great personality, but since Samarra he has opened up and seems like it’s really been life-changing for him.”
Redondo is paying it forward, partnering with Anything is PAWSible and fostering a service dog, Ava, who is looking for a home.
Chick-Lamb said his story is in line with that of other combat veterans she’s encountered.
“I’ve seen people struggling, coming back and dealing with what they had to do over there,” she said. “It’s traumatic, and we’re not built to process it.”
PTSD care:Toms River's new sensory vehicle offers a safe space to chill out
Samarra and Ava are accompanying Redondo and his fellow veterans to Utah. He’s hoping this trip sets the template for future ones. As he learned on that pivotal day in 2014, the road to recovery has to start somewhere.
“A lot of people don’t feel their story matters,” he said. “I want them to see the country they fought for.”
For more information on the Redondo Foundation, visit www.facebook.com/Redondofoundation.
Jerry Carino is community columnist for the Asbury Park Press, focusing on the Jersey Shore’s interesting people, inspiring stories and pressing issues. Contact him at jcarino@gannettnj.com.
This article originally appeared on Asbury Park Press: Middletown NJ veteran helps comrades battle through PTSD
