TikToker breaks down what a ‘birthday family’ is vs. a ‘non-birthday family’

You may have heard of adults revealing if they grew up with “living room” or “bedroom” parents, but TikTokers are now sharing if they were raised in a “birthday” or “non-birthday” family.

In a TikTok that’s received 1.7 million views, Sam Hart (@thesam_show) broke down the difference between birthday and non-birthday families.

She explained that birthday families were the type who made a child’s birthday a big event, while non-birthday families treated birthdays as just another day with maybe a casual “happy birthday” thrown in but not much else.

“You either come from a birthday family, or you don’t,” Hart summarized.

Hart had some theories about how growing up in a birthday or non-birthday family can impact people as an adult, as well as in their future relationships, which many commenters related to.

“That’s why I don’t work on my birthday,” noted @obeymypretty__, adding a birthday emoji for emphasis.

What is a ‘birthday family’?

According to Hart, a birthday family is the type that makes birthdays purposeful and sometimes over-the-top celebrations.

“From the moment you wake up in the morning on your birthday until the moment you go to sleep, the entire day is about you,” she noted. “It’s about celebrating you. It’s about going crazy celebrating you, like celebrating you to the highest extent possible.”

Having grown up in a birthday family herself, Hart added that she would be woken up on her birthday by her mom and enjoy a special breakfast with balloons and gifts. The entire day, everyone in her family would make her “feel so special.”

What is a ‘non-birthday family’?

It wasn’t until she grew older and started dating that Hart realized “non-birthday” families existed. Her romantic partners, she soon found, did not grow up with the same experience of birthdays and thus had very different views on how birthdays should be celebrated.

“They had very low expectations for their birthdays and they weren’t used to celebrating birthdays to that extent, and so they, therefore, did not feel like my birthday was worth celebrating like that, and I was always like, ‘No, excuse me, it’s my birthday,’” she explained.

Several commenters in Hart’s TikTok agreed that the differences in upbringing can cause confusion and even conflict later on in adult relationships.

“This is me and my fiancé. I’m a birthday person, he is not. It’s really conflicting,” commented @elsbels.xo.

“Girl yes! No one prepares you for the dating someone that doesn’t come from a birthday family cause I be hurt LMAO,” added @queenmarisol23.

The impact of birthday vs. non-birthday families

One potential downside of being raised in a birthday family? The realization that not everyone in the world will care about your birthday as much as your family.

“The only negative about that is that when you grow up, and you enter the real world, and you realize that no one in the entire world gives a s*** about your birthday other than you, your mom, your dad and like, your loved ones,” Hart asserted.

“Wow I’ve never [related] to anything more..def come from a MAJOR bday family and as an adult my bday is now always disappointing and sad LOL,” @rainbowglitterdream wrote in agreement.

However, some TikTokers expressed gratitude for coming from a non-birthday family.

“I like not being from a birthday family. I felt special but would have found anything more overwhelming,” said @ammiller99.

“I didn’t and it’s honestly just so much pressure for me to be celebrating like that! I’m an introvert and just want to chill on that day,” agreed @azulmontemayor.

Others asserted that although they themselves didn’t come from a birthday family, they plan to create a birthday family of their own.

“I did not come from a birthday family but my future kids WILL,” noted @cassfoz.

“I didn’t come from a birthday family, but my children do. It’s a whole thing! They’re always excited months before,” added @spattton.

‘It’s all about balance’

In a stitched response to Hart’s video, TikToker Kamilah Michelle (@kamilah_michelle) encouraged people from birthday families in relationships with people from non-birthday families to not “put it all on your partner to make your birthday a big thing.”

Instead, Michelle encouraged those partners to take the lead on any celebrations that are important to them.

“‘Don’t put it all on your partner.’ Now THAT is a self-aware and kind birthday person,” observed @jasonerf1 on Michelle’s TikTok.

“It’s all about balance,” Michelle replied.

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