Time is the best gift for Dad, but here are some other ideas for Father’s Day
Q. My husband and I never know what to do for his father for Father’s Day or what to get him. Can you give us some suggestions of what kind of gift to get him.
A. I can, but since I do not know his physical capabilities or likes and dislikes, here are some general gift ideas:
Number 1: Spend as much time with him as possible – on Father’s Day and every day. If you are not close enough to do that, then call him often, and even if you live close by, still call often.
Number 2: If he is a sports enthusiast and likes to play tennis, or golf, or bike ride, get him something associated to those areas would be nice such as a box of his favorite golf balls; or tennis balls; or a subscription to a golf or tennis magazine; or a special water bottle, or towel, or sunglasses, for his bike riding.
Number 3: If you are physically able, offer to play golf, tennis or ride bike with him as often as you can.
Number 4: If he is still working, get him something for his office: a recent photo of you and/or your family in a nice frame for his desk or bookshelf; a new pen set for his desk; a new engraved coffee mug for his office or home; an engraved treat jar for his desk.
Number 5: If he has a “man cave” get him something to add to the room: fun painting; fun framed saying; blanket for his chair related to something he likes; special wine glasses, engraved candy jar with his favorite candy.
Number 6: If he likes to read, get him one of the latest books by a favorite author or by subject matter.
Number 7: If he likes to grill, perhaps a new fun grill apron or one with his favorite saying or his name; new grill utensils perhaps; book of grilling recipes.
Number 8: Even though this sounds boring, some men do prefer to get a new tie or sports shirt or dress shirt, socks or cologne.
Number 9: Inside the card you give him, put slips of paper inside for: “One mowing of your lawn,” “One trim of your bushes and trees,” “One mulching afternoon,” “One window washing day,” “One fix it day of whatever you need,” “One garage cleaning day,” “One leaf raking day.”
Number 10: Same as one and tell him how much you love him, admire him and appreciate him. End with: “Thank you for being my great dad.”
Q. My father has been barbecuing for us four kids on Father’s Day forever. He’s a little older now and we all have spouses, but he still insists on doing this even though I know he is dead tired by the end of the day. We told him we are cooking at our house this year and will pick him up. I know my Mom would like to come to our house, but he says he won’t hear of it! He says he won’t come because he wants to barbecue at his house. He can be so stubborn! What a dilemma. We don’t think it is proper or fair for him to wear himself out, so do we just go early and kind of kidnap him and Mom for the day?
A. No, it would not be the best for you to “kidnap” him. That would probably get him even more upset. Instead, honor his wishes by allowing him to do what he wants to do on Father’s Day.
Having said that, if you could offer to come over early or even the day before and help him and your mom, perhaps he would agree to that. After all, barbecuing involves cleaning the grill before you start; getting the meat ready for the grill; going back and forth from the grill to the house with all the barbecue “stuff.”
Your mom also has a lot of preparation work like cleaning or straightening up the house; getting tablecloths and napkins together; setting the table(s); preparing other dishes; getting the beverages together and clean up after your dad is finished at the grill; and lots of dishes and glasses to wash or put into the dishwasher and that takes time as well. Then before you leave for the day, help him and your mom clean up “everything.”
In addition, maybe all your siblings could get together and bring the side dishes and even beverages so that your mom doesn’t have to wear herself out. Their assistance in cleaning up would be very nice as well.
Q. Our dad is in assisted living. We can take him out for social events and sometimes we bring meals into the facility for him. It is quite an ordeal to take him out because he is in a wheelchair. We had planned to get him and take him to my sister’s house for Father’s Day, but she now is going to have surgery that week and can’t host everyone, and she doesn’t want him to know about her surgery. He keeps telling us not to bother with him – that we can just come for a visit that day. We’re not sure if that’s what he really wants or not. How do we handle this?
A. In this case, read between the lines of what he is saying and do not just come for a visit that day. He’s just being polite by saying that because he doesn’t want to be a problem. Tell him what time you are picking him up and take him to a favorite restaurant of his or your home or have a picnic somewhere. Enjoy your time with him.
