Is It Time for Bravo to Cast Its First Gay Male ‘Real Housewife’?

Every queer viewer nodded in unison when Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' newbie Diana Jenkins, meeting her castmates on camera for the first time in the Season 12 premiere, confessed that she is a gay man trapped inside a woman's body. And on a show that includes veterans Lisa Rinna and Eryka Jayne, Jenkins is hardly the only one at the table whose personality channels bold queerness or whose style might dabble in drag.

In fact, what gay man hasn’t seen themself in one of the eccentric, fearlessly bedazzled women that have brought international acclaim (and criticism) to the Bravo franchise? One could argue there has been more visibility of gay culture among the Housewives themselves than in the glimpses of gay men tokenized in sporadic episodes, like the next must-have accessory. Although many Housewives rely on the emotional support and style wisdom of their gay friends or assistants, those men never grow out of that limited role.

There has never been a gay “Real Housewife” in the main cast of the franchise, which might not sound surprising considering it has always been centered around women. But given that the LGBT community is considered to be among the series’ most passionate fanbase. Is it about time Bravo honors them by changing that?

Andy’s Girls’ podcast creator and host Sarah Galli tells the Daily Beast that she doesn’t think it should be a question of whether a gay man could be featured as a cast member, but should they.

“There’s a diversity that has taken place in the idea of what makes a Real Housewife a real housewife,” she says, “But as a woman podcaster who talks about these women for hours a week, I think we would be losing something if these stories stopped being women-specific.”

Bravo started the series with the mission to transport millions of viewers into the unabashedly messy lives of affluent metropolitan housewives. Its executive producer Andy Cohen has repeatedly reiterated his conviction to keep authenticity in the show’s casting. (One could argue that the exception is the Beverly Hills franchise, though featuring B- or C-list actresses still lands on-brand for the Hollywood-adjacent city.)

“The biggest example [of the evolution] would be Bethenny Frankel, who was cast as a broke single woman without a child,” says Galli, “I’m sure there were questions at some point on behalf of the network. I mean, the original title of New York was Manhattan Moms, and then they cast Bethenny. So that was kind of thinking outside the box.”

This was one of the first times the network broke free from the mold Bravo planned for the franchise. Frankel, who became arguably the biggest name in the Housewives universe, proved the value of creative casting beyond the “housewives” prompt. The Skinny Girl founder, who has served as a guest investor on Shark Tank and was one of the few to willingly leave RHONY (twice!), demonstrated the magnitude of wealth achievable from the platform if you know how to use it.

Galli says that if Bravo created the Housewives as a vehicle and vessel to expand on the experiences of older women and their friend groups, there are other ways to increase queer visibility, such as by creating more diverse and inclusive shows outside the Housewives umbrella. (Though she notes queer women should be a part of the franchise.) “I don’t know that there is a lot of content that features the voices of women that are 40 or 50-plus and shows them living lives as escapism and enjoyment and often drama. That is where a lot of people connect with these shows. You get to watch these women go through many chapters of their life, aging and the complications it brings.”

Cohen himself revealed in past interviews that the franchise came close to this gay milestone in the late 2000s. “I think the answer is we’ve been open to it. We almost cast a guy on [Real Housewives of New Jersey] who was Dina Manzo’s brother and Caroline’s brother as the first gay Housewife." The Watch What Happens Live host also admitted the network considered casting a group of lesbian Housewives in the past.

But these gay ideas never materialized. OkCupid’s Communications Director (and Housewives superfan) Michael Kaye tells The Daily Beast he would give up his first-born child to be featured as the first gay man in the franchise. He thinks there’s a role for any queer person in any Bravo show, especially considering a substantial portion of their audience is female or gay.

“We live in a very different world than we were in two decades ago. There’s a way to balance the original mission of empowering and uplifting gentrified women and ensuring you include gay people.”

Speaking from the perspective of a person who helps lead a prominent matchmaker app, he thinks New York would be the most suitable city to integrate a gay man into the existing ensemble—though recent cast changes might complicate things. “But then, you can argue,” Kaye says, “it’s important for a network like Bravo to bring queer stories to cities where visibility is more of a challenge.”

If we’ve learned anything from the past couple of years of endless reboots, the highest-rated delicately balance an audience’s nostalgia with their desire for something new, as seen with the success of Real Housewives of Miami’s revival on Peacock. Otherwise, you risk the audience comparing it without mercy to its predecessor. Miami’s breakout star Julia Lemigova, for example, is the first lesbian to be featured as a Housewife.

“I have been watching Bravo for over a decade,” Kaye says, “and only a handful of LGBTQ personality stars come to mind. It’s weird to say ‘typecasted’ in a conversation about reality shows, but it is how you see gay men in these programs. It is an overly flamboyant character, someone who acts more feminine.”

“When I saw gay men on TV [growing up], they didn’t represent how I acted,” he adds. The pattern established on Bravo so far seems to perpetuate that, which might be an argument against casting a gay man on Housewives. “After feeling so different from my straight peers, now I felt different from my gay community as well.”

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Real Housewives of Salt Lake City's Meredith Marks tells the Daily Beast that she's thought about what it would be like for a gay man to be on her show. She says most women featured are not really housewives anyway, so that shouldn’t be the reason why it hasn’t happened. “Most of us work at some level or another. We’re not sitting home twiddling our thumbs and taking care of kids. So I agree; it has completely evolved. For me, it’s more about dynamics and relationships and seeing that unfold. Having a gay man on there would be fantastic. It would bring a different energy into the group, and I like that.”

The jewelry designer thinks the secret formula to any city’s ultimate success is bringing together individuals from different walks of life and experiences. “If everyone was the same, you wouldn’t have the drama. Most of the drama, in my view, is based on people’s different perceptions of life, communication and relationships. You throw them together, and it naturally unfolds. We all see things differently because we’re wired differently.”

Still, viewers might find it harder to digest a man involved in the screaming and cocktail-throwing than a group of sole women.

There is a burden of representation any time a person from a marginalized community is on screen. And, as we’ve seen, members of a minority population are often held to a higher standard. Would a gay “housewife” be held to a higher standard of behavior than the cast members whose outrageous actions we’ve come to celebrate?

Kaye reflects on what happened with the Real Housewives of Potomac and how scrutinized the entire cast was for a physical altercation that occurred between Monique Samuels and Candiace Dillard in the Season 5 finale. “It was disheartening. For years, how often have we seen white women push, threaten or throw drinks at each other? That is all assault. We praise Teresa Guidice for flipping a table, but there is a different level of scrutiny regarding people of color and queer people.”

On the other hand, Marks doesn’t see it as a potential issue. There are plenty of gay men who act as the lone male warrior in their troop of fabulous women. Bravo shouldn’t tolerate abusive behavior from any member, regardless of gender. Marks is also from a city that featured fellow cast members arrested by Homeland Security, accused of leading a religious cult, making racist commentary online, and we haven't even gotten to the Trojan Horse of Lisa Barlow (who acted as Marks’ best friend throughout Season 1 and most of 2, only to then verbally destroy her character and reputation in one of the most viral hot mic moments). A gay man, Marks thinks, could be a welcomed reprieve from the chaos.

According to Marks, the focus should be less on whether it’s a gay man, a trans woman, or a lesbian but on analyzing what individual would be the best addition to the group in question. “I think it can happen in multiple cities, including Salt Lake City.” The idea of an all-queer cast intrigues her, but she says the goal should be to unite mutual friends and acquaintances on television rather than plant them together with an agenda.

The Gods of the Bravo Network will undoubtedly decide what will happen in the future. But changing the course of the tide is how you stay leading the wave. A gay man won’t make or break any of the series, but they might help awaken a revival. After all, the city that never sleeps has been snoozing long enough.

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