In a time where gun violence runs rampant, when will civility prevail? | Norment

The days are gone when we as human beings can expect civility in normal daily interactions with others.

No longer can you accidently cut someone off in traffic and assume the other driver will accept your miming “I’m sorry” or lifting your hands in apology. You are more likely to be chased down and shot at.

You can no longer bump into someone on a crowded street and not expect a confrontation.

And heaven forbid that you accidently knock on the wrong door when searching for a friend’s house. It’s quite possible the homeowner will shoot rather than ask if they can help you.

These days, an innocent, accidental act might explode into a violent, even deadly, confrontation.

There was a time when you could apologize for your error and people would not be offended. But, as a physician friend told me recently: “With everyone packing a gun, accidently stepping on someone’s toe could lead to your being shot dead.”

Sad, but true.

A string of recent incidents across the U.S. attest to this reality, as simple mistakes and wrong turns have led to people being shot, even killed.

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Incivility on the rise

Many were shocked when news broke earlier this month after 16-year-old Ralph Yarl was shot by Andrew Lester, 84, when the youngster went to the wrong address in Kansas City, Mo., to pick up his siblings. Lester is charged with two felonies and faces life in prison. The teen is Black, Lester is White. It’s not surprising that Kansas City officials say there is “a racial component to the case.”

While racism may account for some senseless shootings, there are plenty other incidents that also are absurd.

For instance, in rural upstate New York, Kaylin Gillis, 20, was killed when she and companions mistakenly pulled into a driveway while looking for a friend’s house. From his porch, the homeowner fired at the vehicle. The shooter, described as “irritated and increasingly bitter” about people mistakenly driving onto his property, has been charged with second-degree murder.

Another appalling incident occurred in Elgin, Texas, when White teen cheerleaders returned from practice after midnight to their carpool parking lot. One teen by mistake entered the wrong car and quickly got out. When the man from that vehicle followed her to her friend’s car, she rolled down the window to apologize but he opened fire, injuring her and another cheerleader. The assailant is charged with deadly conduct, a third-degree felony.

Like me, maybe you are wondering what’s wrong with people. Why do so many lack civility and common sense? Why are some so quick to shoot even when the victims pose no threat?

But then, we live in a world teeming with gun-toting, trigger-happy people filled with paranoia, anger and fear. A sociologist said in the Washington Post that such shootings are not common, but “still map on to some general anxiety, hostility, distrust and negativity towards others – and a real sense of needing to protect ourselves and our space.” 

Undoubtedly, it’s all related to a surge in gun ownership, increasing fear of crime, political messaging on firearms, fearmongering in the media, and marketing campaigns by the gun industry. In the past week, I overheard a shopper in a department store tell a friend that she didn’t want a particular purse because “my gun won’t fit in it.”

Government data show that U.S. murder rates have increased by a third in recent years, and property crimes also are up.

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Why are we so quick to anger?

Some experts say people are on edge because many spend so much time watching crime reports on local television and cable news. These same people are influenced by politicians who promote fear-based narratives around crime. In conservative states especially, the National Rifle Association and gun industry in general exploit the fear and anxiety regarding crime and encourage the fearful to purchase even more weapons supposedly to protest their homes and property.

The gun industry also promotes laws that work to their advantage, including “stand your ground” laws that give people a superficial sense of righteousness. Consider the 2012 case of Trayvon Martin in Florida. The 17-year-old was shot and killed by a man who felt the Black teen looked suspicious. In fact, Trayvon was just a teenager walking to a home where he was staying. Zimmerman shot and killed the unarmed teenager and was acquitted using as his defense Florida’s stand your ground law.

In 2020, three White men in Georgia also viewed Ahmaud Arbery suspicious as he jogged through their neighborhood. They chased him down and fatally shot him. All three were convicted; two are serving life sentences.

Most cases of trigger-happy gunowners involve everyday missteps by ordinary people. For example, an apartment complex manager sent a maintenance worker to the wrong apartment in High Point, N.C.; he announced he was maintenance and knocked several times. Yet, the tenant opened the door and shot him without warning.

A teen in Atlanta went to what he thought was his girlfriend’s apartment after working a night shift. He was shot and killed. A North Carolina father and 6-year-old daughter were shot when a basketball rolled into a neighbor’s yard. And then there’s the Mississippi FedEx driver in a Hertz van who delivered a package to correct address yet was fired upon and pursued by a father/son duo (now charged with attempted murder). Earlier this month, two young Instacart delivery men were shot at when they went to the wrong address in South Florida.

In a country with some 450 million guns and few gun laws, such incidents will only increase. Studies show that guns in homes do not make you safer but make you more likely to be murdered. And then there are the accidental shootings, many involving children.

An ongoing battle

Nevertheless, gun extremists are being elected to office, and gun lobbyists are helping to write gun laws. Guns are being marketed to young white men. The Tennessee legislature recently passed a law making it legal for 18-year-olds to carry a gun without a permit.

Across the country, the vague wording of “stand your ground” and “castle doctrine” laws give some the false perception they can shoot people at will when they step onto your property. Shooting a person because he knocks on your door or mistakenly pulls into your driveway is not legal, as the perpetrators in these recent cases are learning. Men aged 84 and 65 may be spending the rest of their lives in prison because they wrongfully killed or shot innocent people.

I empathize with all the people who make a living by knocking on doors of strangers – salesmen, process servers, package deliverers, postal service employees, grocery delivery contractors. There are also political canvassers and representatives for religious organizations.

I can only be hopeful that people will revert to common sense and realize that strangers should be able to knock on your door and pull into your driveway without being shot.

Yet, I am not optimistic that we will return to a time when civility prevails, when people are polite, kind, and helpful to strangers and use their weapons to truly protect themselves.

Lynn Norment, a columnist for The Commercial Appeal, is a former editor for Ebony Magazine.

This article originally appeared on Memphis Commercial Appeal: Norment: With guns galore, civility takes a dive. When will it prevail?