Tom Archdeacon: Parker and her parents join Flyers' Gratitude Circle

Nov. 5—The little girl and the big man hit it off.

Their connection began because each showed a certain flair in their footwear.

Parker Roche, a charming, 6-year-old, first grader from Anna Elementary School in Shelby County, was watching with wide-eyed wonderment the other day as the Dayton Flyers went through a spirited drill right in front of her at the Cronin Center practice gym.

She wore a blue "Dayton Flyers Basketball" T-shirt, a red bow in her hair, purplish-blue nail polish and her favorite sparkly, gold (size 2) shoes.

And it was that affinity for cool kicks that drew her attention to Isaac Jack.

It wasn't so much that at 6-foot-11 he was the tallest Flyer on the court, it was that his size 16 sneakers were pink.

That's the same color as the little suitcase she'll take on her first-ever plane ride in 10 days to South Carolina, where she and her family will be featured guests at the Shriners Children's Charleston Classic, the eight-team college basketball showcase that includes the Flyers.

Parker is a patient ambassador for Shriners Children's Ohio, the hospital within a hospital, that is now based at Dayton Children's Hospital.

On Sept. 11, she had otoplasty surgery to correct the protruding ears she'd had since birth. Her parents — Ryan and Megan — had worried she would be teased and bullied because of her ears and already they'd noticed some people seemed to unduly focus on the way her ears stuck out.

The couple began saving money for the surgeries, but it wasn't easy with three kids. Along with Parker, they have a 4-year-old daughter, Quinn, and a 2-year-old son, Caden.

And Ryan had his own medical issues. He had a fracture in his back that wouldn't heal and eventually it was discovered he had Stage IV prostate cancer that had metastasized to his bones.

The couple still was intent on helping Parker and that's when their pediatrician suggested they check out Shriners Children's Ohio, a medical godsend of which they knew nothing about.

"I talked to them, and I was so impressed," Megan said. "They told me there was a three-month wait, but as the nurse walked out, she said they'd call us with a surgery time.

"I said, 'Wait, are you going to tell me how much this is going to cost? I've only saved a certain amount of money.'

"And she was like, 'Oh, it's covered by Shriners. You didn't know that?' I had no idea and I just started crying and I hugged her. It was such a relief."

As she recounted that moment, Megan began to tear up again.

"Shriners has been so good to us," she said. "They are an amazing organization."

Shriners Children's Ohio — which moved from Cincinnati to Dayton Children's Hospital and began seeing patients here in March of 2021 — provides children from around the world with expert pediatric specialty care for everything from orthopedic conditions to burns, spinal cord injuries, cleft lip and palate conditions and other plastic surgery issues.

Children and their families receive this often life-changing care regardless of their ability to pay or their insurance status.

The Charleston Classic helps to bring awareness and hopefully some financial support to the Shriners' charitable efforts. (To donate, visit lovetotherescue.org or call 513-872-6029.)

When Jessica Wagner, the marketing and communications coordinator of Shriners Children's Ohio saw UD was in the Charleston field — the Flyers open with a Nov. 16 game against LSU and will play three games in four days — she lobbied for them to be one of the two tournament teams to be spotlighted in a video connecting a patient and a team.

She then needed a patient ambassador and while Shriners Children's Ohio certainly treats rarer cases and more life-threatening situations, Parker's story resonated for a couple of reasons.

"They liked it that Parker's situation was dealt with earlier, not later, when she was getting bullied," Ryan said. "And she could show other little girls that they shouldn't worry. It's not painful."

And in Parker, the hospital got a delightful poster child.

But she has her own thoughts on why she was chosen:

"It's because I can talk like a big girl."

The other day was the first time she and her parents met the Flyers.

Wagner wanted the team to realize that the upcoming tournament was "about more than just basketball," but as you watched the end of practice you realized she need not have worried. Under the guidance of Flyers' head coach Anthony Grant and his staff, the players focus on life beyond the court every day.

That's not to say Dayton's practice wasn't an intense, competitive affair.

But as the family — along with John Bull Jr., the vice chairman and tireless fundraiser for Shriners Children's Ohio who wore his organization's trademark red fez with a black tassel — watched from the sidelines, they occasionally were visited by Flyers coaches.

Grant came over and briefly chatted, as did associate head coach Ricardo Greer.

As practice was coming to an end, assistant coach Jermaine Henderson especially warmed to Parker. The night before had been Halloween and he asked what her costume had been.

She explained she'd been the cheerleader from the Disney song-and-dance movie "Zombies."

He told her his 16-month-old daughter, Jaye, had been a sparkly unicorn and she'd fallen asleep pressed against his face. When he woke up in the morning and began brushing his teeth, he said he'd looked into the mirror and been startled to find one side of his face covered in glitter.

He asked Parker which players she liked and when she mentioned Isaac Jack's pink shoes, he said:

"Well, let's go meet him!"

He guided her over to the big man, who was lying on the court doing stretching exercises with a rubber resistance band.

Jack's personality is as sizeable as he is and, since he wants to be an elementary school teacher one day, he seemed at ease with Parker, who gave him a red Shriners Children's Ohio bracelet to wear.

As for her basketball skills, she said: "I'm good at dribbling...but I'm still working on my shooting."

After practice — once Parker had shown off her ball handling skills — Jack helped her with one, particular shot.

Giving new meaning to the term, alley-oop dunk, he hoisted her skyward until she was near basket height.

And that's when Parker Roche managed her first two-handed dunk.

'Falcons Flames'

Ryan is from Fort Loramie and Megan (Rechman) is from Jackson Center. They met at Bowling Green State University, where, as Ryan put it "We were Falcons Flames."

He now works for Marxent, a company based at Austin Landing, that creates 3D virtual reality and augmented reality software.

"When Parker was born and we first held her, we noticed her ears stuck out," he said. "Doctors told us how the (umbilical) cord had been wrapped around her for so long that maybe it changed her ear structure."

"They thought she was kind of pinned in the womb and that's how her ears developed," said Megan, who had worried their daughter might be picked on as she got older:

"I had a good friend, growing up, and I remember very distinct memories of her getting made fun of for her ears."

She recalled her friend not wanting to wear her hair up and trying to keep her ears covered: "That was not going to happen to Parker."

That said, Ryan admitted he and Megan debated having corrective surgery for their daughter:

"Parker is a beautiful little girl, so full of spirit and energy and everything. She just loves having fun and she never once questioned (her ears). She didn't care.

"We kind of felt bad that we did care."

Although they eventually decided on the surgeries and had been saving money, Megan admitted they kept dipping into that fund to pay for other expenses.

When Ryan was diagnosed in November of 2021, he eventually sought treatment at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. For three months, he went there every three weeks for chemotherapy sessions.

In March of 2022, he said he was told he was in remission and now he continues to go to Minnesota for regular checkups.

The travel was a burden — not only financially, but while also working a job and raising a family — and that's when he discovered Angel Flights, a charitable organization which has private pilots fly patients to medical appointments around the country.

Back in Anna, Parker — who'll be seven on Nov. 11 — was lobbying her mom to let her get her ears pierced.

"Mom said 'Yes,' I could get my ears pierced in the summer, but then we couldn't because we knew we were having our ear surgery," Parker explained.

After Shriners Children's Ohio provided the surgical, under-pinning (otoplasty) surgeries that restructured her ears and drew them closer to her head, Parker had to limit her activity for six weeks.

When she returned to school a few days after her surgery, she had her mom make one tonsorial change.

"That first day back, she had her hair pulled all the way back," Megan said with a smile. "She was showing her ears off."

She did that again this past week.

Having gotten the "all clear" from her doctor, Parker went to Sidney nine days ago with her mom, got her ears pierced and now proudly sports a pair of small, silver ball stud earrings.

'Now she can dunk'

Once practice ended the other day, Grant asked Parker and her parents to join them on the court.

Ryan told the team a little of their backstory and then Parker was coaxed to show off her cartwheeling skills. She handed out more bracelets and then Grant gave the family something in return.

He asked them to join the team in the Gratitude Circle with which they end each practice.

Players, coaches, managers, everybody in the gym, they all linked hands in a big circle on the court.

"Anyone who wants to volunteer has the opportunity to express what they're grateful for today," Grant said.

As junior guard Kobe Elvis explained later: "Coach tries to let us know that it's hard be grateful and have negative thoughts in your mind at the same time.

"So every day we share what we're grateful for, whether it's friends or family or just waking up that particular day.

"Obviously, we'll have bad days performance-wise, but this is about more than basketball. We also have tough days that people don't see outside of basketball. And that's what the Gratitude Circle is about. It helps us pick each other up."

On this day, Grant started the session, saying:

"Parker, we're grateful to have you here today and share your story.

"And we're grateful for the people at the Shriners hospital for all you've done for their family and so many families that you provide resources and kindness to."

Afterward, Grant marveled at the little girl's moxie.

"She showed us some of her acrobatic skills today and it was awesome," he said with a warm smile. "It took a lot of courage for her to be willing to go out and do that. Hopefully she enjoyed it. I know our guys did."

In private, Ryan had nothing but praise for the way the Flyers let their little girl take center stage and especially for including them in the Gratitude Circle:

"Talk about being grateful, for us this has been the ultimate experience."

He and Megan extended their appreciation to Shriners Children's Ohio — from folks like Bull and Wagner to the doctors and nurses, who Parker, talking like a big girl, noted "They were so kind to me."

And they thanked the Flyers.

"The players are really good role models for Parker to see," Megan said.

When the session ended, Elvis presented Parker with a gift from the team — a Future Flyer Kids Club box that held UD souvenirs.

And just when she thought her Dayton experience was done, Parker got her biggest surprise.

Hearing she'd been a cheerleader for Halloween and figuring that one day she wanted to be cheerleader for the Anna High School Rockets, Doug Hauschild, the Director of Athletic Communications at UD, asked Parker and her parents to follow him.

He led them through the hallways and stairs that connect the practice gym to the Frericks Center, where the UD cheerleaders were learning a new dance at that evening's practice on the old Fieldhouse court.

The cheerleaders all introduced themselves to Parker and then let her be the first person to see their new routine.

Parker showed them her ability to cartwheel and also turned sideways, so they all could see her new earrings.

The cheerleaders made a fuss and Parker beamed.

As the family finally made the 50-minute drive back up north in the dark, Megan said Parker "talked three-fourths of the way home about everything that had just happened.

"She was on Cloud Nine.

"She was so excited to meet the cheerleaders and the guy with the pink shoes and everybody else. The fact that she met one-on-one with so many of those people has her excited to go to the tournament and participate.

"She said, 'Mom, I bet if I wave at them from the stands at the game, they might recognize me and wave back.'

"Parker likes the attention, and she likes to interact and lately she's really been blossoming more. She's doing so much."

As she thought about her daughter's experiences, she started to laugh:

"And yes!

"Now she can dunk!"