The Tories should stop moaning about Sadiq Khan and start copying him
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These days, no other politician on the British Left seems to enrage the Right quite like Sadiq Khan. No doubt there are various reasons for this. But one possibility, I think, has so far been overlooked.
Jealousy.
I appreciate that this suggestion is unlikely to meet with universal agreement. Jealous of Sadiq Khan? That virtue-signalling pipsqueak? The Leftie London Mayor who’s constantly trying to politicise public spaces by filling the fourth plinth at Trafalgar Square with sculptures of transgender “sex workers”, giving London railway lines woke new names, and using New Year’s Eve firework displays to turn the London Eye into the EU flag? Why would anyone on the Right be jealous of him?
The answer is simple. They’re kicking themselves because they’ve belatedly realised that they should be doing exactly the sort of thing he does.
Quite blatantly, Khan uses his position of power to promote his own ideological values. And yes, it’s utterly insufferable. But it’s also very effective. So why on earth haven’t the Tories been doing it? Fourteen years they’ve been in government. For the last four of those years, they’ve had a landslide majority. But what have they actually done, in all that time, to promote Tory values, to celebrate Tory causes and commemorate Tory heroes?
Precious little. If they’d only thought of it, they could have pursued a Tory version of Khan’s approach. They could have changed the name of HS2 to Brexit Rail. They could have rechristened Islington North as Thatcher Central. They could have announced that the BBC was henceforth to be known as the Glorious Patriotic Stop the Boats Hands Off the Elgin Marbles and Three Cheers for the Empire Broadcasting Corporation. All right, it’s a bit of a mouthful. But it would have been worth it, just to watch Gary Lineker having to say it.
Similarly, they could have been commissioning Tory works of public art. Say, an 80ft sculpture of Winston Churchill riding to hounds while dressed as Britannia and using a rolled-up copy of the Spectator as a riding crop. What an inspiring sight that would have been. Especially if erected directly opposite SNP headquarters.
At any rate, they could have done an awful lot more to advance Tory ideals, and create permanent public memorials to Tory achievements. At the very least, it would have done a successful job of trolling the Left – in precisely the same way that Khan is currently trolling the Right.
It’s a funny thing. The Right are always getting accused of “stoking the culture wars”. In reality, it’s the Left. They’re the ones who, in recent years, have relentlessly fought for radical change to our culture, from promoting gender ideology to tearing down statues. Yet the Right gets all the grief, merely for having the temerity to demur.
And even then, only very meekly. The truth is that, in all areas of the culture wars, the Right’s attempts at resistance have been ineffective, and its efforts to defend its own values practically non-existent. Which is why it’s time for Tories to stop moaning about Khan – and instead, start copying him. Politicise public spaces, just like he does.
In any case, I think the Tories have been making too much fuss over his London railway lines. The Windrush line and the Suffragette line may seem toe-curlingly right-on – but they could have been far worse. We could have been landed with the Greta line, the Meghan line, the #BeKind line, the 24 Hours to Save Our NHS line… So, if anything, we should be grateful.
