Torres: There are no cliches to describe the last few months
I've heard all the cliches.
"Bad news comes in threes," "there would be no mountains without valleys," or the worst: "I know exactly how you feel."
Nope. Sorry, you don't. Not unless you spent back-to-back Mondays this January at memorial services for your father and then your mother-in-law respectively. Then just as life seemed to be normalizing itself again you were hit with the knee-buckling news that someone you loved and respected had just been arrested on child pornography charges.
See, unless you've been hit with that trifecta of doom and gloom, then no, you don't know how I feel. But I know how I feel.
I'm angry. I'm disappointed. I'm sad. And most of all I'm tired of feeling these things.
I'm sad that my Sunday phone calls with my dad are gone forever. I'll never hear about the new book he is reading (no doubt about World War II or the Korean War). I'll never get another television recommendation from him. (His last one, given to me about this time last year was spot on: Peaky Blinders.) I'll never hear his encouraging words or his happiness and pride when I talk about an accomplishment or endeavor.
I'm angry that in the midst of my family's grief, my sweet mother-in-law Patricia Nichols became ill, was admitted to the ICU and passed on a few days later. Talk about a one-two punch to the gut. While my dad regaled us at family get-togethers with stories of his past, like when he would jump from one New York City rooftop to the next to save time climbing stairs while delivering the newspaper, it was my mother-in-law who filled everyone's head with fantastical possibilities of aliens, the supernatural and the unknown. Her respect for nature gave our children a love for all things living.
And, of course I'm angry, sad and incredibly disappointed in the friend, now former friend, for allegedly participating in behavior that hurt and victimized the most vulnerable of our society, our children. I'm still trying to grieve and mourn my family members who we've lost, and now this?
It's not just the shock and horror and the grotesquery of it all. It hits deeper.
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Well, I'm one of those people that isn't very good at hiding emotions. I pretty much wear my heart on my sleeve. So if you see me in the supermarket, walking the causeway or on a story assignment and I seem to have a glazed over look, please understand that I'm trying. And if you feel compelled to hit me with a well-worn cliche, then please go with this classic: "This too shall pass."
Because that's the one comforting thing I've found during these last few miserable months. No matter what happens, the birds continue to chirp, the ocean continues to pound the shoreline, the sun continues to rise and set and bad things, bad thoughts, bad memories will pass.
I just hope it's sooner than later because I'm ready for some good news, some happier times.
Contact Torres at jtorres@floridatoday.com. You can follow him on Twitter @johnalbertorres or on Facebook at facebook.com/FTjohntorres.
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This article originally appeared on Florida Today: Two deaths in the family and a friend arrested is just too much: Torres
