Totally unserious 2023 predictions for Nick Saban, Lane Kiffin and 15 more | Goodbread
So you didn't get a good gag gift under the Christmas tree this year? Don't blame Santa, he's allowed to suspend his sense of humor with so many rooftops to get to. If you're an Alabama fan, we've got you covered anyway. Unwrap these totally unserious predictions for 2023 for some notable names around Alabama athletics and elsewhere:
Alabama football coach Nick Saban: When the subject of the impact that NIL money has on recruiting comes up in the offseason, Saban resists the temptation to ask how well-spent it was in College Station.
Basketball coach Nate Oats: The NCAA rules committee moves the 3-point line back to 25 feet. Oats' response: "Fire away."
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Softball coach Patrick Murphy: Fined by Tuscaloosa fire chief for Rhoads Stadium exceeding legal capacity.
Cornerback Kool-Aid McKinstry: Gets monster NIL deal, changes nickname to Kool-Paid.
Quarterback Bryce Young: Gets stuck on an elevator with three blitzing linebackers, none of whom can lay a hand on him.
Special assistant Sal Sunseri: Saban's point man for transfer portal activity gets a support staff of his own.
Linebacker Will Anderson: Confused by the single blocking he'll see as a rookie in the NFL, Anderson tries to split double-teams that aren't there.
Nose guard Jaheim Oatis: Drops another 20 pounds, gets NIL deal with Jenny Craig.
Returning quarterbacks Jalen Milroe and Ty Simpson: Steel cage match for the quarterback job.
Boxer Deontay Wilder: Speaking of steel cage matches, how about something different for Fury-Wilder IV?
Basketball star Brandon Miller: Oats' prized freshman responsible for NBA scouts getting their own row of seating in Coleman Coliseum.
Director of Athletics Greg Byrne: Frustrated by continuing rise of construction costs, Byrne breaks ground himself on new basketball arena with some Quikrete and the toolbox in his garage.
Missouri coach Eli Drinkwitz: Another rough year in SEC play and − why not? − another contract extension.
Ole Miss coach Lane Kiffin: Boxes up his crown as transfer portal king and mails it directly to Boulder, Colorado. If you thought the Rebels hit the portal hard in 2022, Deion Sanders is about to redefine what that means at Colorado.
Georgia coach Kirby Smart: Caught at SEC meetings in Destin with everyone's lunch money in his pocket.
SEC Commissioner Greg Sankey: After fielding his 500th question about further expansion, finally breaks down and agrees to add the Dallas Cowboys.
Reach Chase Goodbread at cgoodbread@gannett.com. Follow on Twitter @chasegoodbread.
This article originally appeared on The Tuscaloosa News: Totally unserious 2023 predictions on Nick Saban, Lane Kiffin and more
