Trevor Noah on Cuomo allegations: he ‘doesn’t go away when you want him to’

Trevor Noah

Trevor Noah joined the chorus of commentators weighing in on the scandal engulfing Andrew Cuomo, after two former staffers alleged workplace sexual harassment. The governor of New York faced new calls for his resignation Tuesday after a third woman spoke to the New York Times about an unwanted sexual advance at a wedding. The woman, Anna Ruch, said she removed Cuomo’s hand from her bare back (the two had not previously met), which he then put on her cheeks and asked “Can I kiss you?” loudly enough that a friend captured the moment in a photograph.

“Man, what are you doing?” the Daily Show host wondered, speaking of the alleged wedding incident. “I mean on the one hand, asking women for consent before you kiss them is what you’re supposed to do. But the other part of consent is waiting for them to answer. You don’t just grab them by the face like a bear yanking on a beehive.”

Noah then pulled up the photo, which depicts Cuomo cupping the face of a seemingly embarrassed Ruch. “How can you not tell that you’re making this person uncomfortable?” Noah said. “If you’re doing something to someone that turns them into the [grimace] emoji, you have done something wrong.”

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Even worse, Noah continued, “it’s not like this happened in like 1992 and he could be like, ‘Well, it was a different time.’ This was in 2019. If you’re a public official doing this kind of thing after the #MeToo movement, either you just can’t help yourself, or you’re so dumb you shouldn’t be in office anyway.”

The latest allegation has drawn more calls from fellow Democrats for Cuomo to resign, “although if these allegations prove anything,” Noah said, “it’s that Cuomo doesn’t go away when you want him to”.

Jimmy Kimmel

“In the span of one month, Andrew Cuomo has somehow done the impossible: he made Bill de Blasio the second most hated politician in New York,” said Jimmy Kimmel on Tuesday night.

“A year ago, everyone was in love with Andrew Cuomo – literally in love,” he continued, noting that items on Etsy went from “Future Mrs Cuomo”, “Saint Andrew Cuomo”, “‘Shh, I’m Watching Cuomo’ the mug” to “Arrest Cuomo”, “Andrew the Grandma Slayer”, “Impeach Cuomo” and “Wipe your feet here”.

“You know it’s serious when the Etsy community gets involved.”

Kimmel then turned to fallout from the siege of the Capitol on 6 January: newly collected arrest records show that men who stormed the Capitol outnumbered women six to one, “which is why it’s so hard to date at these things”, he joked. “It was a real sausage insurrection.”

Still, “it is kinda sad, I mean these people – not the brightest people,” said Kimmel, “they came to Washington to save America! That’s what they thought they were doing. The president told them to save America – they were sold a bill of goods, and now they’re paying the price for it. It’s like the people who bought Instapots a year ago.”

Stephen Colbert

And on the Late Show, Stephen Colbert led with some welcome good news: Joe Biden’s announcement on Tuesday that vaccines will be available for all American adults by the end of May. Some states have already jumped the gun – Texas’s governor, Greg Abbott, “seceded from reality” on Tuesday, said Colbert, by tweeting: “I just announced Texas is OPEN 100%. EVERYTHING.”

“You hear that, immigrants on the border? The governor said it’s open, come on in!” Colbert joked.

Abbott also announced the end of the state’s mask mandate, and increased business’s permitted capacity to 100%. He later tweeted that the overturning of Covid safety protocols in Texas “doesn’t abandon safe practices that Texans have mastered over the past year. Instead, it’s a reminder that each person has a role to play in their own personal safety & the safety of others.”

“Sure, just like removing all the stop signs from a four-way intersection is a reminder that each person has a role in not plowing into each other,” Colbert deadpanned.

“All these states may need to slow their roll,” he continued, pointing to recent comments from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s director, Dr Rochelle Walensky: “I know people are tired, they want to get back to normal, but we’re not there yet.”

“OK, counterpoint, how about now? Are we there now?” Colbert joked. “‘Cause our scientists are starting to sound like parents on a long road trip – ‘I know you kids want to get home but it’s just a few more miles, OK?’”