Troy murder victim was a waitress who told funny stories and cared about her customers

A woman allegedly killed by her son in Troy early Wednesday was the widow of a former mayor, but she also was a waitress with a large following of devoted customers.

At the time of her death, Norma Caraker, 60, worked at Troy Family Restaurant in Troy and The Lucky Rooster Pub & Eatery in St. Jacob. She formerly was employed at Sgt. Pepper’s Cafe in Edwardsville.

Caraker used to post her work schedules on Facebook so people would know when and where to go for meals if they wanted to see her, according to customers who are now in mourning.

“She thought of her customers as friends,” said Diane Busch, 72, of Edwardsville, whose Bible study group met for breakfast at Sgt. Pepper’s for years before the COVID-19 pandemic.

“Everybody who came into that place knew her. She took time to ask how they were doing, and if somebody had something bad happen in their lives, she was concerned. She treated you like a sister or a mother or a best friend. You didn’t just feel like a customer.”

Troy police found Norma Caraker about 1:30 a.m. Wednesday in her home at 600 Lower Marine Road after receiving a call for a welfare check. She was unresponsive and not breathing with “obvious injuries not consistent with a natural death,” according to a news release.

“As soon as we have additional information, we’re going to put it out,” Police Chief Chris Wasser told the BND on Thursday morning. “I want to be as transparent as I can without compromising the investigation.”

Late Thursday afternoon, the office of Madison County State’s Attorney Tom Haine charged Norma Caraker’s son, Neil A. Howard, 44, of Troy, formerly of Maryville, with first-degree murder for allegedly strangling her to death.

Norma Caraker was married to Charles “Tom” Caraker, who served the city of Troy for three decades, first as a planning commission member, then alderman and finally mayor from 1997 to 2013. He died five years ago.

Howard is one of Norma Caraker’s three children from a previous marriage, according to family members.

Beyond Norma Caraker’s popularity with restaurant customers, she was known for donating tips to charitable causes.

The Edwardsville Intelligencer and The Telegraph in Alton published a story in 2014 about Caraker’s pledge to donate her tips from one day a month to the American Diabetes Association.

“Diabetes runs in my family, and it’s near and dear to my heart,” Caraker told a reporter at the time.

In 2022, KMOV-TV in St. Louis broadcast a story about Caraker’s efforts to help Partners for Pets, a no-kill animal rescue in Troy. She took up the “Betty White Challenge,” donating more than $500 in tips.

Customers Penny and Brad Krome met Caraker about eight years ago at Sgt. Pepper’s and followed her to Troy Family Restaurant. They last saw her two to three weeks ago.

Caraker used to donate gently used clothing to Penny Krome, who operates a booth at The Chirping Frog antique mall in Worden.

“She was so kind,” said Krome, of Edwardsville. “She was kind to everybody. She never met a stranger. She was funny and witty with her stories. She was just fun to talk to. She was a hoot.

“I’m so sad that she’s gone. I can’t believe it.”

Norma Caraker grew up in Cahokia and attended Cahokia High School, according to her Facebook page. She and Tom Caraker had a blended family of five children, as well as grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Norma Caraker started working at The Lucky Rooster about a month ago. The staff was “shocked” when they heard Wednesday morning about her death, according to co-owner Michelle Smith.

Smith described Caraker as a friendly, outgoing and well-liked person who “fit right in” at the restaurant.

Caraker worked her last shift on Tuesday night. As usual, she talked about her grandchildren and other family and provided comic relief with a story about her “weiner dog.”

“She was telling us that she has to take (the dog) a McDonald’s cheeseburger every night,” Smith said. “She said, ‘If I don’t, I’ll give him a hot dog, and he will carry it around for a couple of days, but he won’t eat it. He likes cheeseburgers. That’s why he’s so fat.’

“(Caraker) wasn’t here long, but she left a lasting impression.”

Editor’s note: This story was updated Friday morning to clarify that Neil Howard, formerly of Maryville, was living in Troy with his mother at the time of her death.