Trump and Bill Clinton Worry About Creepy Jeffrey Epstein Connection in ‘Our Cartoon President’

By (Matt Wilstein)

President Donald Trump and former President Bill Clinton have each had very little to say about their respective connections to alleged sex trafficker and pedophile Jeffrey Epstein. But their cartoon personas are being a bit more forthcoming. 

In a hastily assembled cold open clip from this coming Sunday’s episode of the Stephen Colbert-produced Our Cartoon President on Showtime, Trump begins by addressing the nation about his ties to Epstein.

“Sure, I told New York Magazine in 2002 that Epstein is a ‘terrific guy,’” Trump says, citing a real quote. “But that was before I found out that I said, later in the same sentence, that ‘he likes beautiful women…on the younger side.’” 

Then, cartoon Bill Clinton joins him. “Hey, everybody it’s me, America’s cold sore,” he says. “Every few years I pop up to remind you of your bad choices in the ‘90s.” 

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Both men acknowledge that they may have been passengers on Epstein’s infamous private jet. “But so was Kevin Spacey,” Trump says. 

“The only reason I was on that jet 26, I mean, four times, was it was the best deal on,” Clinton adds. 

“You know, Bill and I may disagree on health care and criminal justice,” Trump says—as Clinton chimes in with “barely”—“but we are unified against these all but undeniable accusations.” 

“In the end, aren’t we all just Americans accused of the most ghastly crime imaginable?” Clinton asks before the two presidents embrace in solidarity. 

“I can’t believe we almost let Hillary tear us apart,” Trump concludes.

Even if Saturday Night Live wasn’t on summer hiatus right now, it’s hard to imagine that show producing anything that cuts as deep as this. 

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