'Is my tub sinking?' And other thoughts I've had as a homeowner | Home With Tess
This May will mark five years that I’ve owned my home.
Every time I have that thought, I have to do the math to make sure I’m correct. Could that be possible? Turns out kids aren’t the only thing that skew your sense of time — a global pandemic does the trick, too.
These five years of homeownership have been eventful, hectic and full of hard-won lessons. This, of course, does not paint the full picture. Instead, for a more accurate portrayal, I invite you into the mind of a first-time homeowner.
Here, I bring you 50 only slightly dramatized thoughts I’ve had in the five years I’ve had my house.
After you buy a house, how do you afford … you know, all the other stuff?
I will never again undervalue closet space. Every square inch counts.
How are we already out of hot water? I’ve only done three loads of laundry and been in the shower 30 minutes.
Rugs are seriously that expensive?
A dishwasher is the greatest invention of the 19th century. (Yes, apparently the first dishwasher was patented in 1850.)
Man, I wish I had a dishwasher.
Once I have a dishwasher, I will never, ever complain about dishes again.
Stainless-steel appliances have perhaps the most misleading name in existence. Stains? No, but intractable, chronic, ever-present smudges? Yes.
Sippy cups are the bane of my existence.
Cooking isn’t so bad when you try out a recipe with fewer than 20 steps.
Cast-iron pans are the holy grail.
There is no such thing as too many blankets.
Who is RITA and why does she keep robbing me?
Why does the basement smell like sewage? Surely that’s not what I’m smelling. (Spoiler alert: It was.)
Wait, I have to wash the washer that washes my clothes?
OK, the grown-ups were right: Making your bed really does make a difference in the day.
Owning a dog when you’re on your own is much different than “owning a dog” while living with your parents. (Hello, vet bills and messed-up furniture.)
Who needs a contractor when you have YouTube?
I don’t think this is the right shade of paint …
I don’t think this is the right shade either …
Curating a home from thrifted finds takes a while, but it’s worth the wait.
Rooms should have no fewer than three outlets.
Elevating a space can be as simple as elevating the height of your curtains.
Hardwood floors are a precious commodity that I never want to give up.
Gray hardwood floor installations should come with a prison sentence.
My home is unique!
Oops, I think I accidentally made it trendy.
Cool-toned lights should be reserved for hospitals.
Indoor plants bring me so much joy!
Indoor plants are so much work that if I have to choose between getting up now to water them or letting them die, please pass the chips.
Spiders are actually quite handy little friends to keep around to protect my surviving plants.
(Moving in): Gravel driveways aren’t so bad!
(Currently): I will avoid a gravel driveway like the plague for the rest of my days.
Who knew living on a main road could be so noisy?
Who knew we live next to a drag strip?
Surely these leaves will be fine here for one more winter.
Now I know why contractors charge so much to build a patio.
You haven’t truly experienced spring until you’ve grown something outside.
I grew these tomatoes to begin my homesteading fantasy, not to feed the squirrels.
Is there a crow convention in town, or are these birds plotting my demise?
Our bathtub looks like it’s sinking into the floor … should I be worried about that? ... Meh, que sera sera.
DIY projects don’t feel good in the moment, but I sure do feel proud when they’re done.
This hammock chair will complete the space.
Hey, Alexa, if this hammock chair were to hypothetically tear down the ceiling in my attic, would I need to replace the roof, too?
In Facebook Marketplace I trust. Probably way, way too much.
Didn’t I just sweep this floor five minutes ago?
Having moss as a lawn is underrated.
It’s incredible how quickly a house for two people can feel crowded when a third is added.
If I don’t get out of this house soon, I might explode.
No other house I own will be the home where I had my first dog and first child (and hopefully I’ll never have another home shelter me from a pandemic, either). For that, I will cherish it forever.
More: My last room makeover of 2023 is small but has a lot of meaning | Home With Tess
This article originally appeared on Akron Beacon Journal: First-time homeowner shares 50 deep thoughts
