With Tucker Carlson gone, these are the 5 worst replacements Fox News could hire

Tucker Carlson is gone from Fox News, a stunning development announced Monday that leaves one of the most-popular time slots in prime time wide open.

Don Lemon got fired from CNN on Monday, too. And while that’s certainly a big story, it isn’t earth-shaking news like Carlson’s exit. Noted media critic Donald Trump Jr., after all, called Carlson a “once-in-a-generation-type talent.”

I can think of other descriptions.

But there’s no debating Carlson’s popularity and influence. He was the biggest host on the biggest cable-news network. Right-wing politicians like Ted Cruz groveled before him, seeking his blessing so that the base didn’t turn on them.

Who’s going to inherit the mantle? For now, a rotating group of Fox News personalities will fill the slot. Probably the network will promote from within.

But let’s think outside the box — about who the network shouldn't hire. These are the five worst possible Tucker Carlson replacements.

Why did Tucker Carlson leave? Everything to know about the ex-Fox News host

Don Lemon

Although I hear he’s available.

Seriously, the Fox News audience expects a certain something from Carlson’s former time slot, and liberal-leaning commentary isn’t it. They want red meat, an outraged populist choir waiting to be preached to. The new person probably won’t be as willing to promote conspiracy theories, and no one can be as snotty as Carlson when he was on a tear (though late-night host Greg Gutfeld gives him a run for his money).

But restraint doesn’t sell tickets.

Good riddance: Tucker Carlson is leaving Fox News

Maria Bartiromo

Even in the wacky Fox News world of telling your audience things you don’t believe (that kind of thing can cost you up to $787.5 million), Bartiromo stands out. For one thing, it seems that she might actually believe some of the lies and conspiracy theories that sprung up around the 2020 election. She showed up in a lot of the documentation in Dominion Voting Systems’ defamation suit against Fox News, and not exactly in flattering ways. With more lawsuits looming, giving her a bigger platform than her Sunday morning show would be disastrous.

Tucker Carlson and Don Lemon are gone: Why their departures are nothing alike

Donald Trump Jr.

I mean, come on. Ever seen his videos? Unhinged rants may seem like they’re all the rage, but a little goes a long way.

It will, however, be interesting to see how Fox News treats Donald Trump Sr. going forward. The last time he was on Fox News was when Carlson “interviewed” him — as in, let Trump ramble on incoherently about whatever popped into his head. Sean Hannity also interviewed Trump recently, which seemed to put an end to the so-called “soft ban” on the former president. What now?

Aaron Rodgers

Scoff about the possibility if you want. Actually, OK, I’ll scoff, too. But remember, Rodgers was actually a pretty good fill-in host for “Jeopardy” before he got weird about COVID and vaccines and going on darkness retreats and getting himself traded to the New York Jets and whatever else he drones on and on about on Pat McAfee’s podcast. I was sick of him by the end of writing that sentence. A nightly dose would be too much for anyone, no matter what your politics.

Elon Musk

After buying Twitter and seemingly working overtime to destroy it, Musk has gone out of his way to amplify right-wing crazies. (He also reinstated Trump’s account, but Trump for now seems content with Truth Social, the witness-protection program of social media platforms.)

Also: rich guy. Always a plus with conservatives, who for some reason see them as being one of the guys or whatever. Pro tip: They’re not.

There was a time when all this would have made Musk a perfect fit for Fox News. But the network can’t keep paying out huge settlements, so it’s dicey. Or maybe Musk could just buy Fox News and ruin that too.

Reach Goodykoontz at bill.goodykoontz@arizonarepublic.com. Follow him on Facebook @GoodyOnFilm and on Twitter @goodyk. Subscribe to the weekly movies newsletter.

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This article originally appeared on Arizona Republic: Tucker Carlson is out at Fox News. These are the 5 worst replacements