TUPATALK: Reflections on those in the periphery
I'd like to salute a special group of teenagers you likely will never see in a school uniform.
Perhaps they are kids you most people in school hardly know. They show up in class, spend their school careers quietly learning and never getting much involved and then move into what could be hard transitions to adulthood.
These are the kids sometimes partly in the shadow of the bright lights of youth's parade.
These are the kids that at an early age have to get a job to help support themselves and their families.
Or, they are kids that because of vital needs at home to help take care of a loved one aren't able to get fully involved in school activities.
Many of these kids don't go around and gripe and complain or feel trod upon because fate has handed them a tough go at so young an age.
As I reflect on them, I can't help but think of my sister.
Throughout her entire high school years, she worked every evening after school in a neighborhood convenience store. The reason was simple. She and mom needed the money for reasonable survival.
I was living with other relatives - largely for financial reasons, partly as to not disrupt my high school education.
My mom and sister didn't have a car or a telephone. They had learned to adjust to these things. The city bus system was their personal limousine service -- when it ran. Other than that, it was walk, walk, walk or get a ride with grandma.
My sister walked about 16 blocks one way to school and back home to her part-time job. On some nights she didn't work she walked over to the bank where mom worked as a cleaning lady and helped her.
Yet, she still made excellent grades, had a very select and kind group of friends to attend Friday basketball games with (where she would scream her head off) and enjoyed the teenage experience as much as she could.
But, as I think back, I'm so sorry she didn't have a chance to get involved in things like school plays. She had a great love for Broadway and singing. But, she never gave up on her dream. Finally, in her late 20's, she landed a part in a well-financed commercial staging of "The Music Man," and in years after that contributed greatly to a community theater group.
That got me to thinking about similar situations for other kids I know. And, I'm certain it's true even here in Bartlesville and other places.
Sometimes, we want to crown teenagerhood as almost a stereotypical dreamland where all kids are experiencing the same thing. But, just like in adulthood, sometimes some lives seem to have bear more burdens at an earlier age than others.
That's why it's so important for kids and adults not to impose negative judgments on kids who seem to always seem to be on the periphery. You just don't know what they're going through, what their home life is like.
That's why a friendly smile or "Hello" to a kid no one ever smiles at or talks to might be the kindest act of humanity one might ever do. You don't have to commit to a lifetime friendship - just commit to have lifetime kindness toward those who might need it most.
As for the kids who deal with extraordinary circumstances, please know there are those of us who think about you and know you are there and are rooting for you. Life has a way of making things better in the years to come as long as you keep trying.
You might never have a chance to score a touchdown, but you have a chance to be a winner in life and have a rewarding future.
This article originally appeared on Bartlesville Examiner-Enterprise: TUPATALK: Reflections on those in the periphery
