The United States Border Patrol is notoriously bad at driving its Ford F-150 Raptors, but the thing is, it has Raptors. It is pretty much the best high-speed desert-driving mass-market vehicle there is. If you want something better, you’re going to have to go with a buggy, which the cops also have. But apparently, it is not enough. President Donald Trump is warning of smugglers or migrants using even better, “unbelievable” vehicles on the U.S.-Mexico border.
Yes, stronger, faster and more “unbelievable” than the Raptor. That make a lot of money. The best vehicles you can buy!
Trump’s comments came during a larger stream-of-consciousness verbal diarrhea riff on his dumb wall, which will not work, as captured by Daily Beast head of video and Friend of Jalopnik Tim Burke:
Trump, talking about people migrating illegally to the U.S.: "They have the best vehicles. They have bigger, stronger, and faster vehicles than our police have." pic.twitter.com/dg5AHoLTbO— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) January 9, 2019
And if you can’t listen, here’s the full transcription:
The fact is , that if we don’t have barriers, walls, call them what you want, but if we don’t have very strong barriers, where people can, not any longer drive right across there. Unbelievable vehicles, they make a lot of money, they have the best vehicles you can buy, they have stronger, bigger, and faster vehicles than our police have, than ICE has, that Border Patrol has. So they’re pretty good at that.
I was confused by this statement. There are very few vehicles in this world that are better at desert running than an F-150 Raptor.
Yes, there are things that win the Baja and Kamaz trucks from Russia that win the Dakar, but those are mostly two-person affairs. They might be larger and stronger, but they’re full of stuff that help them win those things.
And then there are sandrails, some of which can take as many as eight people:
But I don’t know if a sandrail, with its exposed, well, everything, counts as a “stronger” vehicle than an F-150 Raptor.
Naturally, seeking more details about whatever the ever-living fuck our President was talking about, we e-mailed the White House seeking additional information. They have yet to respond.
But then it occurred to me. There is one vehicle, sold in the past few years, that is indeed bigger, stronger, and faster going through rough terrain at high speeds.
A Mercedes-AMG G63 6x6.
And while we have yet to see any real physical evidence that smugglers are using the might of over 600 horsepower, six amazing wheels to America’s paltry four,and nothing but the utmost in luxury to ferry people over the U.S.-Mexico border, Trump did say “they have the best vehicles you can buy.”
If you have a photograph to back up Trump’s absolutely obvious horseshit claim, please do send it to tips [at] jalopnik [dot] com.