Unclaimed: In an uncertain time, an overdue farewell for a long lost childhood friend

They came to say goodbye to Michelle.

Three childhood friends. An ex-husband. A teenage daughter who barely remembers her mother, whose 2011 death brought them together so many years later.

The Saturday life celebration at Sunset Memorial Park in Lower Southampton was brief, like the life of 39-year-old Michelle McGinnis.

More people who knew McGinnis, and those who only heard her story, planned to come. But the fast-spreading coronavirus kept them away.

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Mourners sat far apart, practicing social distancing. The only flowers were the lavender roses and daisies her daughter brought. There was no luncheon after.

"There may not have been many people there, but the right people were there," said Julie Lambrechtse, a childhood friend who arranged the interment."

The service was long overdue.

Michelle McGinnis took her own life. No note was left. No obituary was written. There was no funeral, and no mourners.

Instead her body was abandoned at the Montgomery County Coroner's Office, which cremated her at taxpayer expense and then placed her ashes into a storage room, among other unclaimed remains.

It wasn't until years later that Lambrechtse, who works at a Bucks County funeral home, saw someone with the same name as her elementary school friend on a list of unclaimed dead.

She didn't want to believe it. But she had to ask. She had to know. She called the coroner's office.

She asked. If the family didn't want Michelle, she did.

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Memories live on

Lambrechtse met McGinnis in second grade when they were July Gardner and Michelle Brandenberger.

They lived in the same Horsham neighborhood, McGinnis with her grandparents and three miniature black poodles on Cottage Avenue. It was on the street behind Lambrechtse's old house.

McGinnis didn't talk a lot about her mom, who didn't live with her. She never talked about her dad.

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Decades later, the two friends reconnected on Facebook.

By then McGinnis was divorced. She had a daughter. She worked at a veterinary technician at a Bucks County veterinarian's office. She was engaged to her boyfriend.

One of her last social media posts was about how she was afraid that the cancer she had beaten had returned.

When the posts stopped, Lambrechtse didn't think much about it. Her old friend was probably too busy like everyone else.

She slipped out of mind again, until she saw McGinnis' name on the unclaimed dead list.

She picked up her old friend's ashes last month, tagged elementary school friends on Facebook and asked them to share a link to a GoFundMe page for the burial. Lambrechtse raised $500 when another elementary school friend donated her prepaid burial package at Sunset Memorial.

She tracked down McGinnis' ex-husband and extended an invitation to him, his wife and daughter.

Always Happy

The Rev. Calvin Uzelmeier Jr. , pastor at First Presbyterian Church in Warminster, recited a poem about headstones carrying a date of birth and date of death. He pointed out the dates are separated by a dash.

"It's not about the amount of money earned, houses and cars bought," he said. "It's about how we spend our dash."

Uzelmeier invited mourners to share their memories of McGinnis.

Childhood friend Janet Gerhardt recalled how McGinnis was one of the first friends she made when she changed school in the second grade.

At Pennypack Elementary the desks were arranged in triads so kids could get to one know another, said Gerhardt, who still lives in Horsham.

The arrangement is how she got to know McGinnis. It turned out they were both born in July, one day apart. They talked about how they felt cheated they didn't get to celebrate their birthdays with cupcakes and classmates.

"Michelle was always happy, always smiling," Gerhardt said. "No matter what was going on, she was a happy kid. I hope she is smiling right now."

Gerhardt looked at McGinnis' daughter, Kylee, and told her that looking at her takes her right back to her childhood.

"You have her eyes," she said. "When I saw you I thought — Michelle."

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"Now I know"

A senior at North Penn High School, Kylee was 10 when her mother died.

The teen has very few photos of her mother, her stepmother told Lambrechtse. The funeral home donated a small keepsake urn containing McGinnis' ashes to Kylee.

Kylee said she doesn't have many clear memories of her mom. Until recently, she knew nothing about her death or what happened to her after, she said.

"Now I know where she is," Kylee said.

For Lambrechtse giving her old friend's daughter a sense of closure makes her glad she didn't shy away from asking questions about the familiar name on the unclaimed dead list.

Lambrechtse thanked the mourners for coming out during a time when even small social gatherings like this one are discouraged.

"We were sad we didn't know what happened to her," she added. "And I'm glad I could go collect her."

Lambrechtse still finds herself thinking about the other names on the list with McGinnis. They were someone's friend, neighbor, parent, child, relative.

"If people think they recognize a name on the list, they should contact the appropriate county coroner," she said. "They could provide valuable information that would mean the difference between unclaimed or abandoned and claimed and cared for."

This story originally appeared in the Bucks County Courier Times on March 21, 2020

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This article originally appeared on Bucks County Courier Times: Unclaimed in death, friends give final resting place for woman