The Unsung: NJ man lives life paying it forward. See how karma has rewarded him

Editor's note: This is an occasional feature on the unsung people who live among us and brighten our lives. Do you know someone who stands out? Send me a note at sportelli@northjersey.com.

As a child, Forrest Elliott watched helplessly as his loved ones, especially his grandmother, struggled to make ends meet no matter how hard they worked.

That experience is the foundation that set his life's course as a "selfless" person who thrives and finds joy when helping others.

The retired Clifton schoolteacher never expected anything in return for his many good deeds, large and small, but karma had other plans for him.

Recently, while eating a breakfast of eggs and bacon accompanied by a bottomless cup of coffee in a booth at the Tick Tock Diner in Clifton, Elliott talked of his childhood, his early days as a teacher, his good deeds (reluctantly) and how, 36 years after he and his high school sweetheart were forced to break up, she miraculously came back into his life.

The generous man

His generous spirit is not something newly found in his mature years as he reflects on life; rather, it has been part of his makeup from early on. As a young teacher in Clifton, he always made sure there were boxes of cereal stacked among the books in his classroom. "You never know what the students are going through and if they skipped breakfast and are sitting there hungry," Elliott said.

The breakfast meeting at the diner was Elliott's idea — he wanted to spread the word about a new nonprofit organization he is working to set up called "Children Are Our Future." The goal of the organization is to introduce art, specifically Broadway shows, to children who may not have the means to attend them.

Not one to waste an opportunity to help others, Elliott also brought along pamphlets and flyers for upcoming events and fundraisers dear to him, including a meatball-tasting contest to raise funds in the fight to eradicate polio around the world, a food drive to feed the homeless in Paterson, another to fill the shelves of a food pantry in Bergen County, and lots of upcoming events organized by his Rotary Club in Fair Lawn, an organization very dear to his heart.

Then, almost as an afterthought, he happened to mention that he would be in war-torn Ukraine for a week. He left last Thursday with a team of international Rotarians and some from his Fair Lawn Sunshine Rotary chapter. It's a fact-finding mission on how best to medically help the children of Ukraine for the organization's Gift of Life program. Not to waste a chance to help, Elliott and the Rotarians were also bringing medical supplies to donate to hospitals in Ukraine to help treat the sick and injured.

Before he left for Ukraine, he made sure his will and his affairs were in order, just in case, even though he said he was not too worried.

The main focus of the trip will be on Rotary's Gift of Life program, which provides lifesaving cardiac treatment to children in need from developing countries regardless of gender, creed or national origin. More than 47,000 children in 80 countries have received the lifesaving surgery.

As servers rushed about in the Route 3 diner, Elliott, now 72, talked of how each individual has the ability to make a difference in someone's life.

His grandmother's story

Elliott's grandfather "just got up and left" his grandmother with two young children in the early part of the 20th century. Women's lives were different then, he said, and a single mother with two children didn't have many options.

His grandmother collected a government check, at the time called "being on the dole," but to make ends meet, she put her skills as an embroiderer to work. She took on "piece work," meaning she was paid not by the hour but by each item she completed.

"She brought home the work and would get a penny for each piece she made," Elliott said. She worked by the light of a kerosene lamp and struggled to see, because she could not afford to buy glasses, he said. He witnessed her difficulties when he was a child and vowed that they would not happen to him or other loved ones if he could help it.

"That stuck with me as I watched her struggle," he said. He began to volunteer while in college and quickly realized that he could make a difference with just a bit of effort.

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That effort was also present in his job as a teacher.

As a middle school and high school teacher, he tried to give lifelong lessons to his students by going beyond what was required. He brought in speakers to reinforce the lessons they were learning in books. One group really captured the students' attention, he said.

Holocaust survivors spoke to his high school students about their experiences. The students were so taken by the speakers that they helped Elliott organize a survivors' prom. Students and school officials attended along with their guests. After that, those students also undertook a major project to preserve the survivors' stories. They made visual recordings of dozens of the survivors telling their stories and donated them to the Jewish Federation of Greater Metrowest in Whippany for others to view and learn from. All involved promised that they would reunite to review their work 50 years later. That was 20 years ago.

"You don't have to do a hell of a lot to help, but if you don't do something, something small like buy someone a box of cereal to help feed their family, then you need to reexamine who you are as a person," Elliott said.

He doesn't want anything in return for his efforts. "Maybe at the end of the day, when I die, people will say, 'At least he tried to do something,' and maybe that will inspire others to do something, too," Elliott said.

'Pay it forward'

Elliott's mantra is "pay it forward and keep it going." That attitude earned him the coveted AARP New Jersey Andrus Award for Community Service for 2022. It's the AARP's "most prestigious" award. Rather than make a traditional thank-you speech in response to receiving the award, Elliott used the opportunity to bring attention to veterans and the high rate of suicide in that community. Every day, he said, 22 veterans die by suicide. "We need to do more," he added.

Perhaps, he said, he tries so hard to save veterans in honor of his late father, who was a Marine.

One way Elliott and his wife are doing more is by trying to bring peace into the lives of veterans, one family at a time.

The couple purchased a weeklong timeshare to a vacation property in Sanibel Island, Florida, a few years ago and loved it so much that they bought two more weeks, one to extend their stay and another to donate. The couple donate the use of the property to a veteran and his or her family for a week each August.

A retired admiral who is a member of the Sanibel Rotary Club finds and vets the family that will use the property for free. Elliott and his wife, Diane, meet with the family at the beginning of the week, treat them to dinner and wish them a happy vacation.

"In some cases, this vacation may be a lifesaver," Elliott said. "These veterans are under such pressure, one week away with their family may just be the thing that saves their life."

He also volunteers at the American Legion post in Little Ferry, a homeless shelter in Paterson and other areas where veterans are known to be.

Luckily for Elliott, his wife shares his selfless spirit, attributed to a similar childhood. Maybe that's why after many years apart, the universe brought them back together.

The love story that was put on hold

Forrest (whose name came from his mother's love of nature) and Diane met and began dating while attending North Bergen High School.

"I would have married her right out of high school," he said. "I just knew she was the one, but the problem was my mother and her mother were against it."

The two were forced to break up. Elliott went on to college, and Diane married. Eventually, Elliott also married.

Each of their marriages ended in divorce.

"After I was divorced, I tried to find her," he said. Since she had married and changed her name, he couldn't find her. What he didn't know at the time was that Diane was also looking for him.

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"We were high school sweethearts," Diane said. "After my divorce, I found his email while I was scrolling through classmates' photos on classmates.com," Diane said. It was 2004. She took a chance and sent him a message.

"She emailed me and said, 'Do you remember me?'" Elliott said. "I said yeah! I was waiting for her."

Forrest and Diane went out to dinner, and they've been together since. They were in their late 50s when they married in 2009 — 36 years after they broke up and went their separate ways.

"It was meant to be," Diane said. "It worked out really well," Forrest said. Karma and the universe at work, they said.

Elliott had no children from his first marriage but shares grandparenting duties with Diane for her only granddaughter, the child of her son.

No time to slow down

Elliott began his teaching career in 1981 and retired five years ago. He could be taking it easy now that he's in his 70s, but it's not him, he said. Most days his and Diane's Wood-Ridge home is filled with donations going to one group or another. At Christmastime, the house is full of donated toys ready to be handed out. They wouldn't have it any other way.

"I think you have to pay it forward. I'm fortunate. I have a great wife — she supports what I do. If everybody just does a little, just a little, big things happen," he said.

He likes to use a football analogy to drive the message home: "Just take the football and move it an inch, then someone moves it an inch. and before you know it you're down the field and you have a touchdown."

Anyone looking to volunteer or lend a hand can reach Elliott at: woody2me@aol.com.

Editor's note: I met Forrest almost 20 years ago when he came to the aid of a reader. Helen, who was in her 80s, had reached out to me hoping I could help her. She told me her husband, Stanley, a veteran, was spending his last days in the Lyons VA Medical Center, about an hour south of Clifton, where she lived. She said she had no way to visit him. I wrote a short story about her dilemma that was published in the local paper. The next day, Forrest visited the office and volunteered to take Helen to see her husband. He was going to the VA hospital twice a week to visit his father anyway. He drove Helen to see Stanley twice a week until his death. His reward for those trips he said, was spending time with Helen and getting to eat some of the delicious cookies she made for him and her husband.

This article originally appeared on NorthJersey.com: Clifton NJ retired teacher has long list of good deeds