The unsung: North Jersey server lives life in color to push back the dark times
Editor's note: This is an occasional feature on the unsung people who live among us and brighten our lives. Do you know someone who stands out? Send me a note at sportelli@northjersey.com.
Beth Willows lives life in full color.
She's a streak of bright colors as she rushes from table to table, taking orders and carrying trays laden with Jersey diner favorite dishes and lots of side orders of golden-brown fries.
Her customers smile as they watch her. It's impossible not to as she rushes in and out of the kitchen at the Pompton Queen Diner in Pequannock.
Maybe it's the bright halo of silk flowers that adorns her head or maybe the rainbow patches sewn on the pockets of her work apron.
Her butterfly earrings bobble to and fro. They match the multicolored butterfly pendant that dangles from a chain around her neck that comes to rest among the awareness and cause pins carefully affixed to the black polo shirt that sports the yellow and red logo of the diner where she has worked for more than two decades. Also affixed to her shirt, pinned right over her heart, is a large button photo of her daughters.
The colors that adorn her exterior are her way of neutralizing the sorrow and tough times she has experienced. The brighter the colors, the darker the journey.
"I always try to make the best of every situation," Willows said.
After working a nine-hour shift, Willows sits in one of the booths in her section of the Route 23 diner to chat as bits of Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl" break through the din of clinking dishes and glasses and the late lunch crowd chatter. She's glad for the rest, as her back and feet are sore after the long shift.
There's a welcome interruption as one of her regular lunch customers stops by and hands her a $20 tip.
"Thank you, darling," he says.
'She brightens our day'
Her first job as a server was at the Princess Diner, which later became the Monarch Diner, on Route 23 in Wayne. It was knocked down a few years ago and the property now houses a Bundt cake shop and a Starbucks.
About two decades ago she took the job at the Pompton Queen Diner. Her co-workers and regular customers have become family.
Her bosses know they can always count on her.
"She is dedicated and dependable, has always been," said Barbara Matthews, wife of Sam Matthews, who co-owns the diner with his cousin Tommy Georgoutsos. "She is always positive and willing to bend over backward for everyone."
"Kids ask for her. Little girls think she's magical," Matthews said from behind the front counter as customers paid their checks.
Willows wears rainbow patches on her pockets so her LGBTQ customers know they have an ally. The butterfly jewelry and the flowers in her hair mean she gets lots of little girls who request to sit in her section of the diner.
"I really like the butterflies," said 7-year-old Orit Gaya. "I like her tattoos and the butterflies," said 10-year-old Yahli.
Her regulars know they can count on her to remember their faces, their names and their stories.
"She's a great lady. She brightens our day every time we are here," Nicole Reid said.
"I've been coming here for years, and she's the best," Joyce DeRuiter said.
During a recent work shift, the weather was gloomy and she wore yellow flowers in her hair. One of her regulars told her she was "a ray of sunshine in a gray world."
"I don't know why I want to nurture people, but I do," Willows said, becoming tearful.
The struggles and hardships
Willows tries to bring joy to her customers and everyone else in her life. She has lived through dark times and knows how important it is to be surrounded by people who bring you happiness.
The lunch crowd has thinned now that it's after 3 p.m., and as "Fernando" by ABBA serenades the handful of diners left, Willows talks of her struggles.
There was the abusive father who turned out not to be her biological father, her mother's mental health issues, an abusive short-term marriage to the father of her second daughter, and the deaths of her dearest and closest childhood friends, all of which contributed greatly to who she is now. But those sad events did not compare to the biggest life-altering event of her life: her teenage pregnancy.
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"I became pregnant when I was 17," Willows said. "I had just graduated from high school, and when my mom found out, she told me I had to leave the house before the end of my first trimester."
With no home and no support from the baby's father or her single mother, Willows said, she left and "slept on people's sofas."
Luckily, she still had the waitressing job she had taken at age 15. It was supposed to be a temporary part-time job to earn extra cash. She said she offered babysitting services to other waitresses in exchange for a place to stay.
At age 18, right before she was to give birth to her daughter, a friend's mother asked her to move into a spare room. "She was my daughter's first real grandmother."
Two weeks after her daughter's birth, Willows returned to work. She had to, she said; she had a baby to feed. It broke her heart, so she introduced some color to her life.
"I've always had a picture of her with me, since the day she was born. I've worn her over my heart all the time since she was born," she said, pointing to the button-pin photo of her daughters.
Shortly after, she added flowers to her hair. Then came the tattoos — the sun and moon to reflect her love of celestial things, an angel with her daughter's name, a big sister-little sister, a cardinal when her friend was diagnosed with cancer, ribbons when loved ones died or became ill, and most recently a bright, colorful phoenix on her leg. This one represents her life, she said: "It's rising from the ashes."
She gave her all to her daughters. As all single parents know, she was mother and father, teacher, friend and confidant, all while she herself was growing up. "We grew up together," she said.
She scrimped and saved her waitress's salary, thankful for every tip from her customers. She didn't want her girls to miss out on anything, including a trip to Disney World in Florida.
It was not easy, but worth every minute, she said. She said she nursed both girls, and when her second daughter would not take a bottle, she took a long break from work every four hours to rush home to feed her.
Willows eventually made some peace with her mother, who died last Christmas Eve.
Resiliency
Willows kept her job as a waitress because it allowed her to "mold" her schedule to raise her daughters. She worked really long shifts to pay for babysitters, preschool and all the things her daughters needed, including a home.
In 1999, at the age of 21, Willows bought a home in West Milford at the price of $135,000. Her daughter, she said, needed a yard to play in. That yard is now filled with lots of plants, including milkweed, and lots of butterflies she raises.
"I think they are magnificent," she said. "You watch it change from one creature into something completely different," she said of the hundreds of butterflies, including swallowtails, monarchs and luna moths, that she has hatched and set free.
Her daughters, Cassandra, 25, and Violet, 17, know her story and appreciate her struggles. She is very proud of them, the single mother said. Cassandra was just accepted to MIT, and Violet is about to begin her senior year in high school.
As for Willows, she has found love with a single father of two boys. He has been her neighbor since she was 21 and bought her home. He was right there all along.
"I believe everything happens in your life at a specific time for a reason," she said.
This article originally appeared on NorthJersey.com: Pompton Queen Diner in Pequannock NJ server lives life in color
