Vegas Diaries III: Contemplative gazing, steak dining like a gentleman and fixing the flamingo

TED KLUCK
·4 min read
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I’m a big contemplative window gazer, and there is perhaps no better place to gaze contemplatively out a hi-rise window than The Venetian in Las Vegas. We had such a great time last year that we went again this year for another week mountain gazing, food decadence, and relaxation.

If someone had said to me twenty years ago that Vegas would end up being “my” place, vacation-wise, I would have thought them insane. And while I mean no disrespect to the idea of piling your family in a van and driving many hours through Alabama pig trails to squeeze into a loud condo in Destin (I’d rather not hear a college kid puking next door), in order to eat overpriced rubbery shrimp... instead I choose Vegas. Here’s why:

Flights in and out are cheap and plentiful, the suites at The Venetian are palatial and pin-drop quiet (how do they do this?), and the food scene is Smithsonian-ian in that you would need a lifetime to traverse all of the interesting food options in Vegas in a variety of different price-points. Additionally, I’ve found that I need interesting and different geography to gaze at, which the desert mountains offer up in droves, and an interesting cinematic history to pre-and-post-game my trip with. Vegas offers Oceans 11 (both old and new), Oceans 13, Casino, Swingers, parts of The Godfather, and many more.

Regarding history: if you’re in Las Vegas, you owe it to yourself to eat at least one meal at The Golden Steer Steakhouse, made famous by Frank Sinatra, Muhammad Ali, and many other celebrity diners. The Steer is off the strip by a few blocks, and is decidedly old-school in décor and food presentation. They have a dress code, which I’m a big fan of, meaning that you won’t see a ballcap, a graphic tee shirt, some guy’s feet in sandals, or a pair of sweatpants anywhere on the premises. You won’t see the word “juicy” emblazoned on any bottoms while dining at The Golden Steer. You wouldn’t think that in America in 2022 you’d have to tell another grown man to dress decently to get a steak, but, alas, you do. I was made for another time, and The Golden Steer allows me to pretend that I’m in it. I would pay almost any price to get that feeling.

There is ZERO inane music happening at The Golden Steer (only Sinatra), and there are only a couple of televisions (limited to the bar area). I don’t go to a restaurant to watch television or listen to music.

The steaks themselves are top-shelf, because most of the kitchen staff at the Steer have been there for upwards of three decades. The wait staff are professional wait staff, meaning that this is what they do – they aren’t trying to be in movies, get a one-act play produced, or write a book - and they take pride in providing an amazing experience. The food is plated and presented in a style that is decidedly “late 1960s” in that your meat isn’t ready for Instagram. It’s not stacked upon itself daintily and then drizzled with something unknown…rather…it comes on a large plate, swimming in its own perfectly seasoned juices. I didn’t even cast a sidelong glance at a salt shaker while eating my steak. It was perfect as-is.

All of which leads me to the dessert portion of this column: how to fix the Flamingo. The Flamingo used to be a real contender, but is now situated mid-strip in the “seeing depressing things and smelling weed and walking as quickly as possible to get past it” district. I want to see it reclaim its old glory and am suggesting the following:

  • Jazz-only playlists on the casino floor, at the pool, in restaurants, and clubs. We can re-claim ambient sounds and hearing ourselves think. This is not a bad thing!

  • Table-games only, no slots.

  • A dress code for restaurants and the casino floor. Collared shirts and dresses.

  • An obvious aesthetic re-vamp and pivot into the “Old Vegas” style. It goes without saying that the rooms have to be top-notch, and they can take some pointers from The Venetian on how to impeccably soundproof them.

  • Some limited but exceptional dining experiences. I don’t go to a hotel because I also want to go to the mall. Come to think of it, I never want to go to the mall. I need an amazing coffee option (like Illy Café in The Venetian/Palazzo – I recommend the salmon with cream cheese crepe), a few lunch options, and a great steakhouse.

I think where we go wrong, culturally, is when we try to do everything and in doing so, end up doing all of it at a low level. Aspirational here is to do a few things but do them really well, and in doing so, remind your customers of a gentler, more elegant, less-crass way of life. In exchange for the above pointers, I would only ask The Flamingo for a suite with my name on it, ready for contemplative mountain-gazing, whenever I need it. A guy can dream, can’t he?

Ted Kluck is the author of 30 books and teaches journalism at Union University.

This article originally appeared on Jackson Sun: Vegas Diaries III: Contemplative gazing, steak dining like a gentleman and fixing the flamingo