Vendetta off the rails? Gov. DeSantis protects Floridians from Disney monorail
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Thank you, Gov. DeSantis, for taking aim at a real safety issue in Florida.
I’m talking about the Disney World monorail system, of course.
Since 1971, this most heavily used monorail system in the world has delivered about 50 million people a year safely to destinations in the park. So, it’s way overdue for a screw-up.
Which is why we need to applaud DeSantis for having the foresight to step in. Because as we know, there are three serious health and welfare issues that are gripping the state, issues that require quick government action.
They are:
Getting more untrained Floridians out in public places with loaded guns.
Banning abortions to women before they realize they are pregnant.
Seizing control of the Walt Disney World monorail.
Check. Check. And check.
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Vendetta or sound public policy behind monorail move?
Some people have erroneously imagined that the state government is taking control of the Disney monorail system due solely to a puerile vendetta one emotionally stunted adult has with the theme park company over a single, unrelated difference of opinion.
They somehow imagine that DeSantis, looking for new ways to punish Disney because of its criticism of his signature “Don’t Say Gay” law, is flailing out in clumsy, transparent ways to hurt the company.
But for that to be true, DeSantis would have had to achieve the dysfunctional trifecta of being bigoted, childish and foolish at the same time.
And he would have to be willing to submit the taxpayers of Florida to enormous lawyer bills to defend legally problematic efforts to muzzle free speech in what he likes to call “the free state of Florida.”
Government oversight for unseen problem
That would be extraordinary. Especially for a governor. Why would a person with a seat at the adults’ table act with such a junior-high level of maturity to hurt the state’s biggest tourism draw?
Can’t be. I refuse to believe that 4.6 million Floridians could have voted for such a damaged person last year. There must be an alternative explanation.
It must be that the Disney monorail requires some new government oversight because it’s … er, um … sneaky dangerous. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
It’s the kind of dangerous that looks absolutely safe to the naked eye but could be as pernicious as those unseen squads of drag queens performing in Florida’s public kindergartens.
It could be that we should be thanking the heavens that we have a leader that sees both the real problems and the invisible ones.
State lawmakers followed DeSantis's orders here by writing a bill that puts the Florida Department of Transportation in charge of Disney’s monorail.
Prior to this, Disney and other theme parks in the state that have more than a thousand employees and their own full-time inspectors were responsible for doing their own safety inspections.
It's the "Don't Say Disney" bill
The tentative new legislation gives the state the power to oversee any “privately owned fixed-guideway transportation systems operating in this state which are located within an independent special district created by local act which have boundaries within two contiguous counties.”
That’s a 29-word description for Walt Disney World. (I guess you could say the bill is written in a “Don’t Say Disney” way.)
It gives the state of Florida access to the park’s primary transportation system, the one that delivers patrons to and from the Magic Kingdom, Epcot, and three Walt Disney World resorts. It calls for state inspectors to conduct “structural safety inspections” on the raised sections of the line.
Under the legislation, state inspectors will have the right to shut down the Disney monorail service while conducting safety inspections, “to ensure the safety and welfare of inspectors and the traveling public during such inspections.”
It doesn’t spell out how long the transportation service would be disrupted. Or whether this would lead to subsequent drydock hull inspections of the Seven Seas Lagoon ferries, the boats that provide an alternative method of guests entering the Magic Kingdom.
But one thing’s for certain: The state of Florida has our safety concerns as a top priority here. Lawmakers may be encouraging more gun homicides and leading more Florida women to back-alley abortions but nobody will ever say Florida is turning its back on the perils of the Disney monorail.
Thank you, Gov. DeSantis.
Frank Cerabino is a columnist at The Palm Beach Post, part of the USA TODAY Florida Network. You can reach him at fcerabino@gannett.com.
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This article originally appeared on Palm Beach Post: Gov. DeSantis escalates beef with Disney with monorail safety ploy
