The video says Golden State would rather coddle players than hold them accountable

A lot of kids dream of growing up to become pro athletes. If that dream comes true, they really don’t have to grow up very much.

Case in point: Golden State’s Draymond Green. As one of the NBA’s preeminent defenders and hotheads, he sucker-punched teammate Jordan Poole at practice last week.

Somebody leaked the video to TMZ. That infuriated Warriors management for all the wrong reasons.

“As soon as things are leaked, all hell breaks loose,” coach Steve Kerr said. “It’s like if you had a camera in your family and there was a family dispute. Would you really want to discuss it with the world? No.”

Green’s just lucky Poole isn’t discussing it with the police. Fighting rules are different with sports, where tempers often flare into tussles. But this one was different.

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After exchanging some trash talk, Green walked over and all but cold-cocked Poole. If you did that to a co-worker, you’d be fired on the spot and your employer would be getting a call from John Morgan. Even Green was stunned after seeing the video.

“This looks even worse than I thought it was,” he said. “It’s pathetic.”

Green apologized and is taking a self-imposed break from work. He said the leak was “bull-(bleep),” but the leaker did him a favor.

The hubbub might force him to face his demons. That’s something his employer has never done.

Teams reflexively sweep these things under the rug, and Kerr is wielding the usual broom. He said questions about Green’s standing with the team are “nobody’s business but ours.”

Fear not, however, the Warriors have launched a full-scale investigation into the leak. They are far more concerned about finding out who alerted the world to the assault than the assault itself.

Pathetic, indeed ...

Al Michaels calls it the way he sees it

Stud of the Week: Al Michaels. He broke NFL shill etiquette by ridiculing the Indy-Denver 12-9 snooze-fest he covered Thursday night for Amazon. “This is the type of game you’d have as the fifth regional on CBS on Sunday,” Michaels said.

If only a team had scored a TD, Michaels could have exclaimed, “Do you believe in miracles?”

Dud of the Week: The animal rights nut job who ran onto the field with a pink smoke bomb two weeks ago and got flattened by Rams linebacker Bobby Wagner. He filed a police report, accusing Wagner and teammate Takkarist McKinley of “blatant assault.” The guy should be forced to guard Draymond Green at a Warriors practice ...

Sunday’s Chicago Marathon had a nonbinary division, prompting some of those runners to say the division winner should get prize money. The top male and female runners got $100,000.

I’m all for inclusion, but something tells me if the nonbinary division began awarding prize money, a lot of men will suddenly develop gender identity crises ...

Speaking of speed, a robot developed at Oregon State set a world record for bipedal robots in the 100-meter dash last week. “Cassie” ran it in 24.73 seconds, which is four seconds faster than any current Miami cornerback has managed ...

Kudos to ex-Gator Udonis Haslem, who is set to become the third player in NBA history to play 20 years with one team. The 42-year-old Heat center is more of a coach/mentor than a player, having been on the court only 273 minutes the past five seasons.

That works out to $45,267 per minute, according to HoopsHype. That’s the third-highest average in sports, trailing only Texas A&M’s recruiting class and Deshaun Watson’s legal team ...

Cassie Update: Oklahoma researchers are reportedly working feverishly to develop a robot that can complete a forward pass ...

Victor Wembanyama. Remember the name. He’s 18 years old, stands 7-foot-4, lives in France and is considered basketball’s next super-duper star. After wowing scouts in exhibition games last week in Las Vegas, NBA teams are plotting how to lose enough to secure the No. 1 pick in next year’s draft.

In their opening move, the Lakers named Russell Westbrook their starting point guard ...

Cheating Fever: First, chess was roiled when grandmaster Hans Niemann was accused of cheating. Then the winners of the prestigious Lake Erie Walleye Trail fishing tournament were disqualified after judges found lead weights in the bellies of their catches.

Now, the world of Irish dancing is reeling from allegations that competitions are fixed. The lesson here: Don’t play chess with an Irish fisherman who likes clogging ...

Florida linebacker David Reese signs with Reese's

Florida backup linebacker David Reese is one of 12 players who’ve signed with Reese’s, the peanut butter chocolate cup brand. Imagine other possibilities on the UF roster:

Ventrell Miller Beer. Daejon Reynolds Wrap. Josh Braun Shavers. Jadarius Perkins Restaurant & Bakery. And, of course, Justus Boone’s Farm ...

Tanking Update: The Celtics announced they’ve re-signed Bob Cousy. In response, the Magic say they will start only one-armed nonbinary players this season ...

Under terms of his suspension, Monday was the first day Deshaun Watson could enter the Browns’ training facility. He reportedly spent six hours studying the scouting report of AFC Central massage parlors ...

This Just In: Chess officials have discovered 11 pounds of lead weights in Hans Neimann’s stomach ...

After gaining 99 yards in Sunday’s win over the Jaguars, Houston’s Dameon Pierce is the NFL’s fourth-leading rusher. Tell me again why he carried the ball less than a nonbinary robot last year at UF? ...

That’s about all the space we have for this week’s Whitley’s Believe It or Not. Till next time, be wary of ordering the all-you-can-eat Walleye Special.

David Whitley is The Gainesville Sun's sports columnist. Contact him at dwhitley@gannett.com. Follow him on Twitter @DavidEWhitley

This article originally appeared on The Gainesville Sun: Golden State Warriors' secrecy isn't helping Draymond Green grow up