'Violent, hateful and cruel': Scathing obituary publishes in southwest Michigan newspaper
THREE RIVERS — A fiery obituary accusing a dead woman and others of a myriad of abuses resulted in the publisher pulling the piece online.
Every link to visit the obituary for "Linda Lernal Harvey Cullum Smith Stull" now leads to an error page.
"Well, honestly I wanted to write it for myself because I wanted to clear my name," Gayle Harvey Heckman, the obituary author and the woman's daughter, said Thursday in a phone interview with the Sturgis Journal. "For 24 years and before that, my mother has had to come up with a reason as to why her daughter isn’t in her life that doesn’t make her look like a monster. … I had to reclaim my name."
Heckman said she was disappointed when the obituary was taken offline, but said she and her husband only called the publisher twice. She said she also assumed the paper would have contacted her before running it if there was an issue.
"Obit was run in TR (Three Rivers) print edition (Dec. 15). It was submitted through our website, and was published without a good look on our part," Mike Wilcox, publisher of Wilcox Newspaper, wrote in an email to the Sturgis Journal. "We took it down from (the) website after complaints about its content poured in. After taking (it) down, several (mostly the daughter) complaints and phone calls were received admonishing us for doing so."
The lengthy obituary announcing the woman's Dec. 12 death in Three Rivers includes a list of alleged wrongdoings, including condoning sexual assault against her daughter, Heckman, and lying to her daughter about who her biological father was.
"As a mother, Lernal was violent, hateful, and cruel. She physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally, and financially abused Gayle," the print obituary reads, in part.
The obituary explicitly names one alleged abuser, an ex-husband whom The Journal will not name.
"Lernal accused Gayle of 'trying to steal her husband' and proceeded to beat her senselessly," the obit reads.
"Gayle and her family forgive Lernal and hope that she has found peace," the obit ends. "They also hope to find peace within themselves. Lernal will not be missed by Gayle or her family. They all understand the world is a much better place without her."
Heckman said writing the obituary was cathartic for her.
"I wasn’t trying to be hateful, I genuinely ... don't have any hate. I am angry," she said. "I don’t understand if we don’t talk about this how are we supposed to be break the cycle of trauma, especially generational trauma."
Heckman said she had many people reach out to her with their own stories of abuse. She said it is important for survivors to speak their truths and stop being silent.
"I’m 54 years old and the internet, piece by piece, people were leaving love," she said. "And I could feel my heart … the hole in my heart starting to fill."
— Contact local editor Liz Shepard at lshepard@gannett.com.
This article originally appeared on Sturgis Journal: 'Violent, hateful and cruel': Scathing obituary publishes in southwest Michigan newspaper
