Walking home after dark is a psychological minefield for women this winter

The first time I remember seeing her face was when a photograph was plastered to a lamp post at a crossing on Brixton Hill. It was Friday 5 March and Sarah Everard had been missing for just under 48 hours, and her friends and family were posting missing person signs across South London. The next day I was walking with a friend through Brockwell Park when we noticed more of the posters dotted around. By then, news of Everard’s disappearance had rippled through social media, with people sharing and re-sharing the same photograph of the 33-year-old marketing executive, asking if anyone had seen her.

News of Everard’s disappearance was all my female friends and I could talk about. By the end of the following week her body had been found and serving Metropolitan Police officer, Wayne Couzens, had been arrested on suspicion of her murder. We later learnt that Couzens had falsely arrested Everard as she walked home and in September, he pleaded guilty to the kidnap, rape and murder of Everard and was sentenced to a whole life order.

Suddenly, the people who were meant to protect us were the people we came to fear. Following Couzen’s sentencing, the Met advised women who suspected a lone police officer may not be genuine to call 999 or to “flag down a bus”. Hardly reassuring advice for a woman walking alone, especially when Couzens was a genuine officer.

Everard’s murder, as well as that of 28-year-old teacher, Sabina Nessa, who was murdered while walking through a London park this September, reignited discussions around women's safety. According to the most recent personal safety release from the Office for National Statistics, one in two women feel unsafe when walking alone after nightfall in a busy public place and in a quiet street near their home. It also found that two out of three women aged between 16 to 34 have experienced at least one form of harassment in the past year, with 44 per cent receiving unwanted sexual comments and 29 per cent feeling as if they were being followed.

Andrea Simon, director of the End Violence Against Women Coalition (EVAWC), explains that violence against women is so normalised in our society that women are “constantly” having to carry out personal safety work. This includes assessing our surroundings, researching the safest route home, and sharing our location with friends. “The threat of violence alone negatively impacts women’s freedom and is an almost universal experience for women and girls,” she says.

It’s not a new thing, feeling unsafe while walking home in the dark. Women have been walking with their house keys clenched between their fingers for decades. Yet, this winter in particular, seems to have sparked women's concerns more than in recent years. Everard and Nessa’s murders are in the forefront of our minds, but there’s a set of different obstacles we have to tackle when trying to get home, too. For women in London, the night Tubes are slowly starting to resume, but only across a select few lines, which means we’re left with two options when deciding how to get home: an Uber or a bus. Bus timetables can be irregular at night and Uber’s prices have gone through the roof as a result of a lack of driver availability. And even when we do manage to get an Uber or a taxi, arriving home safely is no guarantee.

Earlier this month, Lauren Dudley, founder of media agency Auxo, tweeted: “Ladies, are y’all feeling unsafe every eve? I’m used to feeling this every winter, but this year feels soooo heightened. I have not and probably will not leave the house alone after work, in the dark. I can normally force myself to take the risk. This year I physically cannot.” The tweet was liked over 200 times and received a slew of comments. “Got a taxi home from the station last night and the taxi driver waited until I got into my house. Even he said ‘I wouldn’t want my daughter walking home alone at this time of night.’ It’s heavy and bloody expensive to live like this,” one Twitter user responded. Another said: “I’m really feeling it. Used to go out running at past eight and now struggle to get out. It’s anxiety, I was ok before [but] now I panic.”

Lee Chambers, psychologist

Psychologist, Lee Chambers, says there are a “variety” of factors at play as to why women are feeling more uneasy about walking home in the dark this winter. “Sadly, we still live in a society where women are expected to make adjustments to keep themselves safe, which creates hyper-awareness of the potential threats that exist,” he explains. He adds that the highly publicised murders this year has only amplified these fears and, mixed with the underlying anxiety caused by the pandemic and the fact that minimal action is being taken to reduce violence against women and girls, it’s “no surprise” that women are worried about walking home in the dark.

The events of the past year have also had an impact on women’s mental health. For women who have faced abuse or harassment previously, Chambers says there’s an elevated feeling of hopelessness and that these events have allowed the trauma to resurface. “There is also the sad reality that women face microaggressions every day,” he continues. “And while not as damaging in the moment, these microaggressions become like receiving paper cuts every day. When these major cases are publicised, it can feel like salt being poured into all the small cuts, bringing intense emotion and pain.”

Because little is being done to address the root cause of male violence against women, Chambers says an atmosphere of “disempowerment” has been created which reduces our perceives safety and security.

Incidents happening in public places have also led to a feeling of increased danger. This, coupled with the fact that streets are still quieter than they were pre-pandemic, with people continuing to work from home and fewer people coming back from office drinks late at night, the feeling of being a target when walking home in the dark feels heightened. Following Nessa’s murder, the Met Police reportedly published a series of safety guidelines which included not listening to loud music, concealing jewellery and walking down streets with “good lighting”. While we can follow guidelines to a tee, if a violent man wants to hurt you, there’s little you can do to stop him.

Simon, from EVAWC, says the “burden does not lie with women to keep ourselves safe”. Instead, the attention needs to be focused on men’s attitudes and behaviours as well as holding perpetrators accountable for violence against women. She explains: “Since the public outpouring of distress and anger following the murder of Sarah Everard, we’ve seen knee jerk responses from government and our justice agencies framed around keeping women safe. This has led to piecemeal and unevidenced responses such as increased CCTV and street lighting. But these measures will not deter perpetrators intent on targeting women and fail to address the causes of male violence against women: women’s inequality, male power and harmful beliefs around gender.”

Andrea Simon, director of the End Violence Against Women Coalition

She adds that measures enforced by the government aiming to keep women safe in public “wrongly reinforce” the message that women are responsible for their own abuse by being in spaces “deemed unsafe” or for not taking the right precautions. “Street harassment and threats of violence do not exist in a vacuum; they are part of a broader spectrum of violence against women and girls that spans every sphere of existence – from public spaces to the workplace, to online space to the home. Women and girls have the fundamental right to be free from threats of violence. We need to see approaches that address the root causes of male violence against women – women’s inequality, male power, and the harmful beliefs and attitudes that minimise and tolerate violence against women.”

If you are feeling anxious, Chambers advises to “trust your intuition” and “keep engaged”. If it all gets a bit too much and you become overwhelmed, he says to “focus on slowing down your breathing”. “Projecting confidence with your body and stride can also make you feel physiologically prepared, which can also be a useful way to feel psychologically safer as you walk,” he adds.

Of course, in an ideal world the only true solution is to educate men on women’s safety and remove the onus from women entirely. But, for now, as we wait for lighter evenings to return once more, we will continue to share our locations with our friends, hold keys between knuckles and project an air of confidence as we walk home, hoping to text our friend when we’re inside that we made it there safely.

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