Walmart mass shooting survivor suffers, waits for help to restart life in El Paso

For Ana, August was once a cheerful and festive time, as she and multiple family members celebrate birthdays during the month, but that all changed on her husband's birthday — Aug. 3 — four years ago.

"August used to be a month to celebrate," Ana, who asked to be identified only by her first name, said in Spanish. "It is now one of the worst months for me.

"My life has drastically changed."

On Aug. 3, 2019, Ana and her then-9-year-old son were at an El Paso Walmart shopping for party supplies and cake ingredients for her husband's birthday when shots began ringing out. Not far from where she stood, she saw someone being shot near the store's entrance and watched as their blood "splashed all around."

"The face of that person is always in my mind," Ana said.

She became paralyzed with fear and fell to the floor, but her son began pulling her toward the exit and shouting for her to run.

Surviving the Walmart mass shooting, which resulted in the deaths of 23 innocent people and upended dozens of lives, was only the beginning of Ana's struggles — the years since the attack have proven to be nearly as difficult.

It's been impossible for Ana, an asylum seeker living in El Paso at the time of the mass shooting, to unite with all her children, legally work in the U.S. or press on with starting a new life.

She shared her story of recovery and healing as El Paso marked the fourth anniversary of the massacre at the Walmart carried out by a white supremacist armed with a semi-automatic assault-styled rifle.

Stuck in immigration limbo, Ana's struggles mount

Though Ana, her husband and two of her five children have lived in El Paso since 2015, she has continued to face difficulties over her immigration status, most notably in the wake of the 2019 shooting, as she awaits a response on her U-visa application.

U-visas are designed to provide protected status to immigrants, as well as their family members, who were harmed during the commission of a crime while in the United States. While the injuries suffered by those who survived the Walmart shooting undoubtedly qualify for the visa, a decades-long backlog of applications spells trouble for Ana and other applicants.

And in Texas, such a visa is required for nearly everything — without it, she cannot replace her children's Social Security cards, and she cannot access any federal assistance or state health coverage for her children. Ana cannot acquire a Texas driver's license and cannot be hired for a job.

Further, Ana has three children still in Juárez who she hasn't seen in person in years. Without a U-visa, she cannot travel freely from El Paso to Juárez.

Beyond that, her husband, who was previously doing yard work to make ends meet, was recently injured, adding to the family's financial woes. Ana has considered opening a burrito truck to make ends meet, but first, she said she has to get a city permit and get the backing of a local restaurant before she can get that operation off the ground.

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"I know I'm really good at cooking, maybe I can do that," Ana said. "If there's anything I can do to work and sustain myself, that would be great. But because of the incident, I can't work like I used to."

'There's a part of me that's no longer there'

Ana suffers frequent and recurring nightmares, often featuring the face of the person she witnessed being shot to death at the entrance to the Walmart.

She said she is often crippled by anxiety and depression. A once-energetic and active person, regularly out shopping or attending fiestas, Ana said she now becomes triggered by loud noises and prefers to stay home.

She declined to be fully photographed out of fear another attacker like the one in the Walmart will try to identify her and hunt her down.

More: White supremacist to spend rest of life in prison for 2019 Walmart mass shooting

"It's a whole 180-degree change," she said. "There's a part of me that's no longer here. I will have to live with that throughout the rest of my life."

And there have been physical changes as well, she said.

"Before, I used to work perfectly," Ana said. "But since the incident, the tension has increased more and more."

She said her bones are contracting and her vertebrae are beginning to curve, which has led to financial difficulties in the form of mounting medical bills for physical and mental therapy.

Assistance effort launched on fourth anniversary of Walmart shooting

While Las Americas Immigration Advocacy Center is assisting Ana with her U-visa and other needs related to her immigration status, she had no idea that her case worker was hatching another plan to provide some relief to her and her family.

She had previously described her struggles to representatives at Las Americas — the mounting medical bills, the hours spent in hospitals and the difficulty not working — as well as her desire to start her own business.

On Aug. 3, 2023, as numerous El Paso events were happening in remembrance of the 2019 tragedy, representatives at Las Americas were establishing a GoFundMe page for Ana and her family in the hope that she can raise enough money to get her burrito business off the ground.

Ana is confident that launching her own business and being able to provide for her family without having "to think of clever ways to make money" will provide the stability her family has lacked since the events of August 2019.

And despite the unthinkable violence she and her son witnessed and the hardship endured over the ensuing years, Ana knows that there is constant reminder that not all was lost that horrific morning.

She said her husband regularly reminds her that on Aug. 3, 2019 — his birthday — she and her son escaped with their lives — gifts of life worth celebrating four years later.

This article originally appeared on El Paso Times: For one Walmart mass shooting survivor, time has only added to pain