Wayne County Wanderings: Beloved Honesdale Basketball coach succumbs to pancreatic cancer
The final buzzer had sounded almost half an hour ago, setting off a wild, chaotic mixture of celebration and disappointment in the gym.
The game had gone right down to the wire, ending with a crucial turnover at one end of the floor and an improbable last-second basket at the other. For the better part of two hours, pandemonium had reigned as one thunderous ovation after another rocked the Red Palace.
But now it was all over.
Fans filed out of the gym and into the wintry Wayne County night. Bundled up against the cold, they excitedly discussed the game they’d just witnessed … an intense renewal of one of the area’s oldest basketball rivalries.
Soon, the parking lot would be empty and they’d all be home. Late dinners would be served, homework done, maybe just a little bit of TV before bedtime. It was a school night after all.
As for me, I’d just finished up my interviews and was heading back to the newsroom to file the story. Jacket zipped up, camera bag over my shoulder and car keys in hand, I strode through what I thought was an empty locker room.
I’d almost made it to the side door when something stopped me in my tracks. I stood motionless for a few moments, holding my breath and looking around before I heard it again. The sound was unmistakable and heartbreaking … the sound of a young man crying.
Another moment passed as I quietly took a couple of steps backward and peered diagonally across the room. There, on a wooden bench in front of his locker, sat one of the team’s star players.
His shoulders were slumped and a sweaty towel draped over his bowed head. The young man’s chest was heaving, hands covering his face. The loss itself was tough enough to take, but the fact that he’d been the one who committed that costly late-game turnover made it even more devastating.
For a split second the Dad in me thought about going over to talk with him. Fortunately, another Dad had beaten me to it … a Dad whose kind words would mean much more to this young man than anything I could offer.
A private moment
“Hey Bubba,” said Assistant Coach Mike Birmelin, sitting down and draping an arm around the lad’s shoulders. “It’s okay. Man, you played your heart out and I’m proud of you…”
Mike’s compassion moved me, but this was a private moment between coach and player. So, as quietly as possible, I slipped out the side door and into the night.
Climbing the concrete stairs that lead to the middle school parking lot, I made my way to the car. After stowing my camera gear, I turned and looked back down at the school.
Snow flurries swirled beneath the streetlights and shimmering stars peeked out from behind passing clouds. Down there, deep in the recesses of that labyrinthine locker room, a wonderfully human moment was unfolding … the kind of interaction that’s only possible for someone with a huge heart who truly understands what it is to be a coach.
Someone like Mike Birmelin.
It’s a scene I’ve never forgotten, one filed away in my memory for many years. It’s also the very first thing I thought of when I heard that Mike had passed.
A tragic loss
Mike Birmelin died Saturday night at home, surrounded by his loving family after a brief but courageous battle with pancreatic cancer.
He was 57.
Mike grew up playing sports at Western Wayne while I attended Honesdale. We both graduated in 1984, so our paths crossed many times on the basketball court and baseball field.
After high school, Mike embarked on a successful career, married and began raising a family. He worked long hours to provide the best life possible for his beloved wife, Kelly, along with two children he adored, Morgan and Grady.
“Dad was the glue that held our whole family together,” Morgan said. “He lit up every room he walked into. It’s hard to imagine things without him here.
“Dad loved people. He could talk to anyone about anything. He was the most positive man in the world. Dad was passionate about the youth in our community. He loved coaching basketball and just wanted to make a difference in kids’ lives.”
I will always remember Mike as a fiery competitor, but also as a warm and genuinely funny guy. During games, he was your most bitter rival, but afterwards one of your closest friends.
Former Hornet hoops coach Tim Wood agrees.
“Birms was the kind of person who immediately lifted the spirits of everyone in the room,” said Mike’s friend and colleague. “He was a great guy.
“Mike was my neighbor, assistant coach, golf buddy and best friend. I will greatly miss him. He loved his family above all else, and was so proud of his children. But, he also loved the players, and they loved him.”
Ron Rowe, longtime Honesdale coach and Wayne Area Sports Hall of Famer, concurs.
“Birms always came to practice and games with a positive attitude,” Coach Rowe said. He was always ready to pick someone up. Mike found something good to say about everyone.”
In fact, tributes to Mike have been pouring in via texts and email ever since he passed. One from Honesdale Athletic Director Diane Scarfalloto stands out.
“I have known Mike for a long time,” Diane said. “And honestly it's hard to find his level of kindness these days.
“Mike’s personality lit up a room and made him the life of any gathering. He has no idea the wonderful and lasting impact he had on so many people.”
Greg Frigoletto echoes those sentiments. The Superintendent of Wayne Highlands Schools has nothing but praise for Birmelin as a coach, as a friend, and as a person,
“Mike was an absolutely great guy,” Greg said. “Truth be told, everyone that knew Mike loved him. He was special and you just can't say that about many people.
“Whenever you had a chance to be with Mike, he made your day. He was that kind of guy. Mike was always a positive presence in our basketball program, and he will be sadly missed by so many.”
Courageous battle
Mike’s cancer diagnosis came less than a month ago on June 28.
Unfortunately, by the time it was discovered, the insidious disease had already spread making treatment extremely difficult. And, it took the entire Birmelin Family completely by surprise.
“He had an appointment to start treatment July 10 at Fox Chase,” Morgan said. “But on July 9 he was admitted to the ICU at Jeanes Hospital in Philadelphia.”
Sadly, it quickly became apparent that Mike’s cancer was very advanced and by July 12 the only real option was to bring him home and commence hospice care. Three days later, he was gone.
“Dad died Saturday evening surrounded by his family,” Morgan said. “But, he never lost that ability to make the most of every moment. Even in his hospital bed, Dad talked about how blessed our family is and how lucky he’s been.”
Jon Gillow witnessed that gratitude firsthand. Honesdale’s boys basketball skipper has a unique perspective since he played for and later coached with Birmelin at the varsity level.
“Birms had many roles in my life,” Jon said. “I had the honor of playing for him in high school and then coaching with him. He was my mentor, and most importantly, my friend.
“I talked to him a little over a week ago and he was still that same positive person. It was unbelievable to me how unselfish he was, knowing his diagnosis.
“He made sure I knew that if I ever needed anything to just give him a call. It was a true honor knowing Mike and I’m a better person today for it.”
Wonderful legacy
And so we come full circle in this tribute to Mike Birmelin.
As I sit here at my keyboard, the image of Mike putting his arm around the shoulder of a heartbroken young man still hovers in my mind.
You know, it’s often said that character is what you do when you don’t think anyone is watching. Well, I was watching that wintry night in the Hornet locker room. What I witnessed was the genuine instinct of a good coach, a great Dad, and a compassionate human being.
Mike was also a well-rounded, fun-loving person. Among his many passions were playing golf with his friends and grilling on the family barbecue. He was also his kids’ biggest fans, coaching them as children and then cheering them on as young adults.
Mike was looking forward to retirement after nearly three decades of tireless work at Bell Telephone and Verizon. He’d hope to spend his golden years embarking on new adventures with Kelly, his beloved wife of 28 years.
On behalf of the Birmelin Family, Morgan would like to thank everyone who’s reached out to offer condolences, prayers and support. While she can’t believe that her Dad is gone, she takes comfort in the fact that he leaves behind such a wonderful legacy.
“We’re all trying to take things one day at a time,” Morgan said. “We’re grateful for the confidence that Dad’s in Heaven and that we’ll see him again one day. We’re holding onto that hope.”
If you’d like to make a donation in his memory, please do so: Michael C. Birmelin Youth Athlete Memorial Fund; The Dime Bank, 820 Church Street, Honesdale, PA 18431.
This article originally appeared on Tri-County Independent: Wanderings: Honesdale basketball fans remember Coach Mike Birmelin
