Wealth-centered dramas, world record attempts and other things I'm tired of: Blundo

Welcome to another edition of Things I’m Tired Of, my semiannual (unless I forget) list of trends, fads, crazes and troubling developments that I wish would go away.

I’ve kept you waiting for a year (yep, I forgot), so let’s get right to it.

Here’s are the Things I’m Tired Of:

Shows about rich people behaving badly

I reached my tolerance limit for wealth-centered dramas with “Succession.” There will be no “The Gilded Age," season two for me.

Why?

I’m already a witness to way too much appalling billionaire behavior in real life, courtesy of Donald Trump, Elon Musk, Daniel Snyder, Rupert Murdoch and assorted other moguls, magnates, tycoons, oligarchs and heirs. I turn to fiction to escape them, not read about their imaginary counterparts.

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Clean windshields

Back when the planet was healthy, you couldn’t drive from here to West Jefferson without amassing an impressive collection of smashed bugs on the windshield. I never thought I’d feel nostalgic for that, but it seems like an ominous sign that our cars are now arriving at their destinations with much less insect carnage than they once did.

There’s actually a scientist who studies this phenomenon, who documented that bug splatters are down precipitously. And other researchers say, no, it’s not because cars are more aerodynamic or windshields more slanted. It’s likely because there are fewer insects to kill — not a good sign for our ailing planet.

World record attempts

Longest charcuterie board, largest piñata, heaviest ball of cheese, loudest burp by a woman — those are just a few of the world records confirmed in recent days alone.

I’m not against world records per se (the fact that Kimberly Winter, of Maryland, can burp louder than some motorcycles is, I think, indisputably newsworthy), but too many of them strike me as humdrum. The charcuterie board, for example. I mean, sure, it was 485 feet long, but does anyone really deserve immortality for lining up cheese and salami?

(Disclosure: In a long journalism career I have written about the World’s Largest Meatball, World’s Largest Irish Dance and World’s Largest Potluck, just to name a few.)

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The names of generations

I’m sorry, but as a self-absorbed Baby Boomer, I just can’t keep track of when other generations begin and end. And why is it so important anyway? Am I really supposed to believe that knowing whether a person is a Millennial born in 1996 or a Gen Z born in 1997 will reveal important clues to identity and outlook? I’ve listened to a lot of conversations where people can’t even agree on which generation they belong to, let alone how it supposedly influences their behavior.

For the record, I’m also tired of rising house prices, campaign war chests, destination weddings, bucket lists and those TikTok videos where people smash eggs on their kids’ foreheads.

Joe Blundo is a Dispatch columnist.

joe.blundo@gmail.com

@joeblundo

This article originally appeared on The Columbus Dispatch: Joe Blundo things I'm tired of 2023 trends, crazes the gilded age