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This Week on Tooning Out The News | Trailer (5/7/21)

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This week's top stories on Stephen Colbert Presents Tooning Out The News include the GOP's revolt against Mitt Romney and Liz Cheney, the worldwide explosion of COVID cases, Rudy Giuliani's FBI troubles, and more.

Video Transcript

- We'd love, and I know you never get this, to pitch you some hastily assembled book ideas.

- No one's ever done this. So go ahead. Let's hear it.

- All right. Well, strap in for the next eight hours.

- They pulled out and said that they would make the Republican Party the party of the white man. I didn't say that. They said that.

- Truth flies out of you like buckshot out of Liz Cheney's dad's duck rifle.

- Have mercy.

- Let me guess, this is our fault because we could have waved intellectual property laws and allowed India to create their own vaccine, which would have prevented the spread entirely.

- No, that's exactly right.

- Bryan I'm literally not in the mood right now.

- Melinda, you've tried the whole dweeb thing, girl. Now it's time to get with a [BLEEP] idiot who can cherish you. I'm talking about me.

- Congresswoman, tell her I'm a big boy who hosts a good show.

- I'm not going to tell a baby what [? David ?] can hear with his own ears and see with his own eyes.

- If we all work together, there is nothing we can't accomplish.

- Now let's go chop up some migrants.

- Hooray!

- It's no secret that we here at the establishment are close friends with Rudy Giuliani. For no reason at all, let's microwave our phones.

- Congratulations, Pfizer, for doing the least.

- Sure, it feels like the whole world is in a car flying over a cliff, but it's kind of fun to see all the M&Ms, and parking meter quarters, and half-chewed Benadryl tablets floating around in the air.

- Yes. I love M&Ms, but one makes me so full.